Let’s start off right. These observations about how women show sexual attraction apply only if both of you are over the age of 30. Why? Because under the age of 30 years, it seems that both men and women have trouble establishing and expressing sexual desires.
I hear so often, “Why don’t women come with traffic lights?”
In truth, there are several ways that men can tell if a woman is sexually attracted to him…and while not a complete green light – at least it is a warm yellow light that says “proceed with cautions.”
IMHO – most women do not see a difference between lust, love, and sex because they are all apart of the same package – only stages of progression. Of course, this means that the moral majority of women do not have sex without lust and love – and the rest only fool them into believing they can be “players” in the game. So, be careful in your game – because you might be out for a causal drive and end up in a train wreck!
There are no hard-and-fast rules to figuring out if women are ready to commit to getting naked and sweaty – mostly because women decide those things in a minute and execute in a lifetime – definitely not on the male timeline.
Yes – it would indeed be easier for men if they could read minds – but it could be very damaging to the ego, so let’s discuss the signs that most women give off when they shift gears.
Ask yourself these questions because these are the biggest indicators that the light has changed she is loading the truck to move you out of the friend zone:
Touchy Feely Questions: Behavior Problems
- Does she share her food / drink with you or ask to taste your food/drink? – Women tend to be selective about sharing body fluids. From eating or drinking after someone to swapping spit (or other bodily juices), offer or receiving food /drink is a sign of acceptance and testing the waters.
- Does she lightly touch or leave her hand on your face, arm, neck, hands, or knee? – Women love connection and touching, so gently touching her hand to your face, arm, neck, hands or knees become especially important if she leaves her hand there – even for a minute because it means she likes the way you feel next to her skin.
- Does she seem to lose focus when you do something with your hands or fingers? – This probably goes all the way back to Darwin and the Origin of the Species. Whether programming a computer or building a house, women love tactile men. If she is watching your hands or how you handle a wine glass, then she is assessing how safe delicate things are in your hands and how dexterously you control your fingers. It is all in the fine tuning – and she is watching to see how well you tune.
- Does she lean toward you – as if sharing a secret – when you talk? – Personal space is vital and women know this better than anyone. As a matter of fact, almost every man has experienced the pain of getting into a woman’s personal space too fast; however, if a woman leans toward you when you are talking to her, then she is making you the center of her focus and investigating the possibility of a close encounter. Plus, leaning forward has the extra advantage of showing off her assets to the best possible light.
- Does she have outbreaks of drama that melt away easily when she has your focus? – Men usually think that women walk around in a constant state of drama. Nothing is further from the truth if a woman is sexually attracted to a man. Attraction and anger are proof of passion – but slight outburst of drama stir the pot to a boil which is WHY they call it “MAKE-UP sex.” Women do not get upset over things that do not matter and men are “known” to be casually cold, so small tussles can lead to deeper understandings and indicators of trust. The exception to this rule are the Glen Close Fatal Attraction kind of woman whose drama does not go away quickly OR the high maintenance type of woman that constantly stirs drama so you can not focus on anything else.
The Sex Questions: Let’s Talk About Sex
- Does she talk about sex in general with you? – There is an old adage that “women do not talk about sex with men they do not want to engage in sex.” This is true because the brain is the biggest sexual organ in the body and the first place sexual fantasies start to brew. If she looks embarrassed or cold if you talk about sex, then she might be shy (if that fits into her personality) or she might just want to change the subject because you are not the star of her movies. If she engages in a sexual discussion with you, then you might have wiggle room that shows interest.
- Does she make comment or joke in a light humored way about the two of you sexually? – This is the active form of question #6. Humor leaves the door open for discussion while still having plausible deniability if you are not interested. Like men, women hate rejection, so she is leaving herself a retreat in case things do not go as expected while still letting you know that the subject is open for exploration.
- Does she share information about herself with you like fantasies indication of her naked side? – And still a little deeper, the heart of every sexual encounter for women is intimacy. When she shares information with you about her fantasizes, sexual preferences, favorite toys, and such…she is giving you a preview to the show – a golden ticket – if you prefer, while seeking sexual acceptance and gauging compatibility between the sheets.
Communications Questions: Sex in Motion
- Does she listen to you with her eyes as well as her ears? – Human nature studies show that people watch things that they find attractive. Although men are more visually enticed than women, when a woman focuses on what you are saying with long looks into your eyes, she is assessing your honesty while you talk. She is trying to tell if your words match what she sees in your eyes. Whether you are talking about football or boats, she is watching for the connection between your passions and your thoughts.
- Do the two of you share a natural banter? – The ability to think and talk will be a dizzying combination – if it is a quality you share. Mental and verbal wrestling matches infused with a sense of humor gives her the impression you can give as well as you get…and giving is the key in any sexual relationship.
- Does she keep in contact through texts or phone calls? – Texts and phone calls have two purposes. First, a text or a phone call can be a good form of communication to keep someone up-to-date on specific things. On the other hand, a text or a phone call that does not convey a specific message besides that she is “thinking about you” is a clear message that you are playing on her mind….and she takes the extra effort to tell you.
- Does she do things that attempt to extend the amount of time you have together? – Whether hanging out at a movie or at dinner, if a woman makes an effort to spend extra time with you it means she is interested in the connection. Women move pretty fast away from men they don’t want around – so take it as a compliment.
- Does she share private background information with you? – Most women, compared to men, over share. Some studies estimate that the average woman says 13,000 words a day or three times as many words as men. For most men, that is a nightmare. The answer is not in the words, but what is she actually saying? If a woman shares private information about her background – especially if it is a painful thing – it shows trust.
- Does she laugh often around you? – No…not that giggly little Barbie laugh that she thinks makes her nose curl up in a cute way. I mean, does she really laugh even at the risk of looking unattractive? When she stops worrying about what will look sexy and engages in the pure pleasure of your company, silly little girl behaviors like hair twirling and giggling go away to be replaced by genuine time of enjoying your company.
There is an important point about this checklist. In each case, notice the question is aimed at behavior toward YOU.
If you find a woman that does these things with all men or a major of men around you – run for the hills!
Two explanations – She is either trying to make you jealous, which shows she in NOT interested in a sexual connection just an emotion response like anger, jealousy, or teasing.
Or, she easily shares herself sexually with many people. Unless standing in line for used goods works, you might want to look in other places.
Nothing replaces a good solid YES and this is the only way to directly know for sure if she is fantasizing about a more physical relationship, but if you are checking these items off the list, it is worth asking the question!