It’s rare that I am surprised by sexual antics and adultery. After all, I am a big girl…been around the block in high heels a few times. I consider myself quite comfortable with all topics surrounding sex and sexuality. However, with all naivety aside, I must admit that I was truly disappointed to find out that Tiger Woods had cheated on his wife.
I know, the stats say that adultery happens more times a day than you can shake a golf club at, but there was something deeper in the realization that Tiger Woods, all American golfer, father, and husband would cheat on his wife. Some have suggested to me that this strikes deeply at me because it means that no one is immune.
Well….duh! Of course, as many times over as partners promise to “love, honor, and cherish until death due” them part; there are divorces for a reason.
I think it is more significant than that. As a role model…perhaps a role model for all of the world to look up to with admiration of being a loyal spouse, it is hard to understand the disappointment in finding out that he would drop pants at the first available dyed natural blonde that crossed his path…and the second…and the next.
Perhaps it was My Favorite Scorpio that taught me the deeper lesson in martial fidelity when I asked him pointedly if he would ever cheat on his wife during a discussion of a friend who was divorcing due to an affair.
“I don’t know. I have never been in that position to make that decision,” he replied, focused on the disbelief on my face as he continued. “When you take the possibility of a situation out of probability, then you are open to it when it blindsides you. After all, you don’t get a flu shot because you don’t think you will get the flu. You get a flu shot because you believe in all earnestness that it is possible to contract the virus right?”
I had to study that logic for a few minutes because, in its simplicity, it made perfect sense. We guard against things happening to use by preparing for the day they do, but we deny the possibility to adultery assuming that all people have our best interests at heart.
In my marriage of 21 years (almost—thank you very much…I get to round up now!), we started off with an understanding of the consequences of adultery. We agreed that no reason is good enough, no explanations are acceptable or needed, and no forgiveness can be expected. With one act, you trade everything else because there is no road back for us.
Huh…now there is a novel though…setting expectations with a clear understanding of the value of an action. It might seem like an odd thing to do in the first weeks of a marriage, but we took the flu shot to keep from experiencing the sickness. ~~Dee