All of my life, I have seen couples spend time apart with the understanding that “absence makes the heart grow fonder.” From separate vacations to nights out with friends, it seems that time apart makes the time some couples spend more precious. In reality, I don’t buy it. While it does give you a multi-faceted view of the complexities of a relationship that include both the pain of loneness and the pleasure of time to yourself (with others), either way, in my mind, finding out that you are better alone or with someone else is always on the horizon.
As The Marine and I spend many waking hours together talking, going to “things” together, doing “things” together…well, we practically do everything together. When we are apart, we have trouble sleeping and wander around the house lost in our own space. Does it sound painful? It is…I miss him in the depths of my soul whenever he is not close. Like missing a part of my being…as clearly if someone had removed a part of my brain, my heart, my body.
I recently found one place that separation has made us stronger as a couple.
For over 20 years, we have shared one bathroom much to my dismay. This normally easy going guy becomes Hitler in the bathroom. The bathroom has to be organized and stocked a certain way. Nothing on the counter…everything in a drawer or closet with towels properly placed and wash cloths in convenient places. Shampoo, shaving crème, soap, and mirrors must be…well, it is very regimented.
Now, in his defense, I am not SO organized in the bathroom. Curling iron, hair dryer, cosmetics, and crèmes scattered where ever they land. Various female aids and clothes on the floor mixed with towels (OMG…whites and darks mixed together—the world as we know it is coming to an end!). And, yes, I am constantly late…did I mention that? I have the ability to make a sane person crazy with that habit! I don’t mean to be late. My Gemini-ness gets distracted and I am in another world.
But….in our new house, the master bathroom backs up to a guest bathroom. Heaven was delivered into our marriage. We can easily shower together and he trots off to do his male magic in the adjoining bathroom! Oddly, I am not late as often as I usually am because I don’t have to wait on him to shave or do other male things.
I do miss watching him do the things that make him naked and male in the same room with me! But, we are both happier having our own primping space and much more impressed with the magic when we next see each other! ~~Dee