The Sexual Real of Reality

sexuality, sex blogs, sex , erotica female, erotica“You guys dont look like you have been married 20 years,” a friend commented over lunch last week.

“Thank you,” I commented absent-mindly.  I had heard that comment hundreds of times over my 20 year marriage.

“No offense,” he stuttered, “I meant that as a compliment.”

“No problems.  I accepted it as a compliment,” I responded with my best pretty girl smile.

I realized something this past year as The Marine and I traveled throughout the world.  We are so connected that we make other people uncomfortable around us. 

  • It goes deeper than finishing each others sentences. 
  • It is more than just agreeing about the grocery lists of marriage. 
  • It is even exceeding the basic day to day existence of life.

What I was truly surprise to find out is that people tend to use as a reflection.  A mirror if you will.  They look into the mirror, Snow White style, and expect to see the reflection of paradise in their own relationships.  They examine their relationship in a compare and contrast manner to find things like they dont hold hands enough…or they dont talk enough…or they aren’t romantic enough…or they are not sexually trusting enough.

And, here in lies the problem.  When you look at the relationships of others and assume you can see a reflection, then you miss the point of the relationship.  No two relationships are the same just like no two fingerprints are the same.

But.  There is a secret to our marriage.  It is freedom.  In our twenty years of marriage and four years prior of dating, we do not limit each other.  So many spouses spend loads of time monitoring the other like they were children who needed “permission” to behave in a certain way, they often forget that having fun together and experiencing life is a major part of staying in love with the person you married.

Sitting in Hooters a few nights ago, it started to sink in that the majority of men in this place were probably married.  YET, the women in their lives were…ummm….well, who the hell knows?  Why?  Because women are against seeing boobs?  Because women dont like sports food?  Let me guess….its because they dont think that women should be looked at as a sexual object?  Uh huh.  Right. 

Me…I am not so offended  by the boobies!  The food is the same as in Applebees…the view is just different.

In reality, we dont look like we have been married for 20 years because we are still sharing the adventures of being married.  Does that sound complicated?  Experiencing life and love together.  Wow…sounds like a novel concept.  ~~Dee

8 thoughts on “The Sexual Real of Reality

  1. Ha..ha.ha… JT just mentioned the other day that we needed to find a non-smoking bar during football season so we could watch the games (I refuse to pay for cable!) and my reply was a smile and “Hooters!”. 😉

  2. What a privilege it is to comment on this blog post! Wow! Your words resonate deeply with me. My husband and I are the same as you two – so in love and acting like newlyweds continually. We are so confident and secure in our relationship – very key for us. I love going to Hooters – love that we both can comment on beautiful women or men and not feel threatened. Looking forward to spending lots of time on your blog!!

  3. i was a newlywed stationed in okinawa when my spouse was sent to cuba for 3 months … across the world

    i continued to do “my thing” … hang out with friends … go to the club because back then i was a dancing freak!

    everyone was appalled that i was out … like i should be in mourning or something

    changing your life to fit into what everyone else thinks your relationship should be is a sure fire way to destroy it

    btw … i love hooters! and if my sig other wants to go to a …. gentlemans club … the only reason i get annoyed is if i can’t go too!!

  4. TG–Yeah baby! When you change who you are for another person (or society), then you cease to be who you are to yourself and the person you marry. I see women constantly give up their identity when they get married. And, then, a few years later they are amazed when everything is different! ~~Dee

  5. i think your marriage is very inspiring and that’s why people look at the two of you and try to figure out how to get what you have. i’ve said it all though with ‘each relationship is different like fingerprints. yes, exactly. everyone has to establish there personal tolerances, pick their battles and keep the importants things up front.

    i admire and adore you dee. you are so very insightful. you are truly able to bring out the best in one another, hey? beautiful.

    thanks for being you dee. muah!

  6. Princess–Dont mean to inspire or even suggest we are a way for others. Other, in fact, tend to look at us with speculation and me with a “scraped off their shoe” view. I am over what others think.

    And I, my dear, am honored by your friendship and honored by the women who share my path. ~~Dee

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