Honestly, I stood back to watch as the drama unfolded. I made a specific commitment at the beginning of the year to pick my battles, but I have rarely been able to remove myself from the sexual dogma and struggles inflicted by society on women. As regular readers know, my parents were incredibly abusive to each other through out my whole childhood. I have seen more bruises, broken bones, and destroyed rooms than I care to visualize.
So, when Rhianna was abused by Chris Brown, I was completely supportive of her decision to separate from her abuser. After all, she had the opportunity to become the voice for abused women and girls all over the world. She has the money to walk out the door and not look back….to show her ultimate self-esteem and respect for herself in an “oh no he didn’t” way. But, when she went back to him with the simplicity of an apology, I threw her music out. Literally, out the window of the car.
In case you did not know, here are a few facts about abuse in the USA:
- Forty percent of teenage girls ages 14 to 17 say they know someone their age who has been hit or beaten by a boyfriend.
- From 30 to 50 percent of female high school students reported having already experienced teen dating violence.
- 7 percent of all murder victims were young women who were killed by their boyfriends.
- One in five or 20 percent of dating couples report some type of violence in their relationship.
- One of five college females will experience some form of dating violence.
- A survey of young women, ages 15 to 24, found that 60 percent were currently involved in an ongoing abusive relationship and all participants had experienced violence in a dating relationship.
- One study found that 38 percent of date rape victims were young women from 14 to 17 years of age.
- A survey of adolescent and college students revealed that date rape accounted for 67 percent of sexual assaults.
- More than half young women raped (68 percent) knew their rapist either as a boyfriend, friend or casual acquaintance.
- Six out of 10 rapes of young women occur in their own home or a friend or relative’s home, not in a dark alley.
- More than 4 in every 10 incidents of domestic violence involve non-married persons.
This one voice could have made a difference…but, she failed. And, yes, I do blame her for that. Yesterday, I heard that Rhianna was in jeopardy of losing her contract with her record label due to this choice. Fair enough.
But, I have one question in addition:
WHY isn’t Chris Brown’s record label threatening to revoke his contract? He abused her. In reality, he was the aggressor. He is even more to blame than she because he actually abused her. We can’t even count on the law to handle this issue because he could keep his contract and his financial status even if he goes to jail.
Confusion! This seems like a double standard!
In this month, National Women’s History Month, there are many great strides to point to in acceptance of the progress of women. However, IMHO, until it is acknowledged that part of the historical journey of women includes a long road of violence that includes physical and sexual abuse. And, until that abuse ends, we have not made any progress at all. ~~Dee