Sexsational Ladies: Sex Bible for Women and Susan Crain Bakos

icon_christmas2When I first received my copy of The Sex Bible for Women by Susan Crain Bakos, I was automatically intrigued by the quality of the book.  I mean, it is not one of those throw away sex books that you chunk in the trash after reading through in one night.  No way…this is the woman’s guide to EVERYTHING sexual on the planet.  With information and incredibly sexy pictures of sexual positions, sex toys, oral sex tricks, and tips on achieving orgasms, The Sex Bible for Women by Susan Crain Bakos is the book that you wish your mother would have given you to learn all you every wanted to know about sex, but were afraid she did not know!

As I read The Sex Bible for Women by Susan Crain Bakos, I could not put it down.  Thumbing through the sexual positions, I found myself saying, “tried that…did that…OMG…HAVE TO TRY THAT!”  More than that, what I truly loved about The Sex Bible for Women by Susan Crain Bakos is the way it is set up.  I mean, it was not that sterile sex education that you remember from high school.  Reading The Sex Bible for Women was like chatting with your best girlfriend or sister over the kitchen table about the hot sex you alway wanted!  This book connects the dots from the sex you are having to the sex you want to have.   More than that, it makes an awesome how to sex manual for men because the images are vivid and stunning…engaging for both men and women who want to fine tune their understanding of female sexuality.

Plus…alittle extra flavor, an absolute DO NOT MISS is Susan’s discussion of the orgasm loop and how women achieve orgasms everytime.  It was my privledge to get to preview The Sex Bible for Women and to interview the sexsational lady who shares sex with women everyday!  ~~Dee

PS….what I love about Susan, personally, is not only the amount of sex information that she has, but the willingness with which she shares all of her sexual goodies with women!  Kisses Susan…

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Side Note:  If you read WHO KILLED MALE SEXUALITY? last week, then here is part three….

An Erotic Mini-Series Featuring Death And Orgasms (Incorporating Real Characters And Real Events Into Fiction That Includes Fake Orgasms, Forays Into Vibe Addiction And Larger Than Life Throbbing Dicks….Just Like Porn)

By Susan Crain Bakos

In Part Three, you’ll learn why the little person was bludgeoned to death with a giant dildo–why big cocks that slightly curve drive women wild–who hangs out in the E. Village listening to erotica readings.  After the stories of throbbing cocks and dripping pussies-does anyone get laid?  _______________________________________________________________________________

Susan Crain Bakos:  The Sex Bible for Women

1–What prompted you to write “The Sex Bible for Women?”   THE SEX BIBLE, published in 2006, was very successful, in the U.S. and in foreign editions.  (THE ORGASM BIBLE is a spin-off from that. ) The publisher asked me to do a version for women only–and gave me free reign to do it my way.  I set out to create a book that would accompany a woman on her sexual journey through life–like a sexy version of that feminist classic Our Bodies, Ourselves.   (You know:  Our Clits and G Spots, Ourselves)

2–How does sexual empowerment play into sexual satisfaction?  How can you be truly satisfied if you are not sexually empowered?  A woman is empowered if she freely makes her own sexual choices and can reach orgasm easily, whenever and as often as she wants.  (Refuting the common wisdom, it is NOT that hard to do. )  The woman who relies entirely on a skilled lover to “give” her an orgasm is dependent on him (or her) to be there when she wants to come.  How frustrating is that?  I love to let a man take charge of the action in bed–but my orgasms are not dependent on him.  We both know I can serve myself though I like to be served sometimes too. Now, Babe, that is empowerment.
 
3–Statistics prove that most women do not orgasm through penetration. What would you suggest?   Ah, yes, one of the few reliable statistics in life (or sex):  Less than a third of women reach orgasm via sexual intercourse alone.  The overwhelming majority of women need additional clitoral stimulation.  Yet for over two decades the question readers have most frequently asked Cosmopolitan magazine has been:  “How can I come during intercourse?” 

The short answer:  Use your hand. 

  • A quick technique is The Flying V:  Open your first and second fingers in a V.  Slide them down between your bodies as he is thrusting.  Position the small part of the V so that it straddles your clit.  Hold the base of his penis inside the wide end.   You both get something out of this one–and it’s subtle if you are not comfortable about touching yourself during intercourse.

Why do we need a long answer?  So many women aren’t happy with the short answer.  The model of Western lovemaking is intercourse ending in orgasm for both man and woman; and her hand isn‘t on her pussy.  His penis is enough.  Women want to live this fantasy.  We crave penetration because it is deeply satisfying; and we want orgasms too.  Why not have both?

  • There are many “tricks” for reaching a no-touch intercourse, including the obvious:  Stop cunnilingus before you come.  A strong PC muscle (which you keep toned through regular Kegel exercises) gives you the O edge.  Then adjust the angle and depth of penetration to get the maximum friction as close to where you need it as possible by using pillows and tweaking positions.  Many women say they are more likely to come when they are on top because they have more control and can get the stimulation where they need it.

For years I advised women to:  1.  Use their hands and 2.  Employ the tricks.  They wanted more, so I created The Orgasm Loop.

4–What is The Orgasm Loop?  O Loop is a revolutionary technique for having an orgasm every time.  The Loop incorporates cognitive feedback, PC flexing, Tantric breathing and energy focus as practiced in martial arts.  It’s like riding a bike:  takes a little practice, but once you learn, it feels like a natural skill.    For an unsolicited enthusiastic review of the technique go to http://sexyprime.typepad.com/sexyprime/2008/09/the-orgasm-loop.html

5–Are you saying that the penis is a second class member–not strictly necessary?  Oh, no.  I am a shameless cock worshipper.  I love the dick.  In fact, I have written about being dick-matized, a word that Carlin Ross and I coined when we were podcasting together.  When a woman is dick-matized, she is in thrall to a particular dick to the point of ignoring that the life support system for this dick may not be such a great guy.  I can come sucking the right dick.  (I call it the Wild Card Chakra trick.)

My second piece of advice to women after “Take charge of your own orgasms” is “When that dick is in your hands, mouth, pussy–you own it.  Lavish it with attention.”  And, yes, I like them big.  To read a true story on being dick-matized, go to: http://sexyprime.typepad.com/sexyprime/2008/10/sometimes-the-girls-attract-the-wrong-kind.html

6–“The Sex Bible for Women” covers everything from foreplay to masturbation to sex toys to advanced sexual positions to sex as you get older. Is there a common theme throughout “The Sex Bible for Women”?   Yes!  Female Sexual Empowerment!  I hope the message readers get is:  Cast off the old negative sex attitudes (that even younger women embrace.)  Don’t judge other women for how they live their sex lives; make your own choices, own them as you support other women‘s choices.  Open your mind, heart and pussy to erotic possibility!

Both on SexyPrime, a blog by Susan Crain Bakos and in SBW, I try to bring together women of different ages, races, sexual identities.  We can learn so much from one another by talking across generations and other “differences“ between us. Did you ever stop to think, for example, how much straight women owe lesbian women for our sexual freedom?  As political activists and leaders in sex education, they stood up for female sexuality before straight women did.  We have great sex toys today thanks to the amazing gay women who started Eve’s Garden, Good Vibrations, and, of course, my favorite place, Babeland.

7–How did you research “The Sex Bible for Women”?   I’ve been researching and writing about sex for over two decades and have interviewed thousand of women  (and men).  SBW is a culmination and an update of that work plus new material, including reports on cutting edge sex science.  Also, I have tweaked techniques to make them work even better.  I love this book.
 
8–Would “The Sex Bible for Women” be a good gift for a man? Why?   Yes!  He needs to know what women want and need and how to please them.  And he may not be getting a lot of help in understanding women from his lovers.  Depending on the survey, anywhere from half to 85% of women admit to faking orgasm at least occasionally.  (The rest are lying.)
 
Orgasmic Christmas:  Have you signed up for my super sexy Orgasmic Christmas?  If not…what vibrating pleasures you are missing!!!  With sexy stuff from OhMiBod, Babeland, Susan Crain Bakos, XToyStore, and JustInCase….winning one of the 11 prizes in the Orgasmic Christmas contest can change the answer to whether you have been “naughty or nice” this year!

3 thoughts on “Sexsational Ladies: Sex Bible for Women and Susan Crain Bakos

  1. Dick-matized.
    Most respectfully, I’m not sure this is possible.

    Regarding the penis; half the time, women fear to touch it, the other half want to cut it off. The rest either use it as a hand puppet or just sit there giggling.

    Are you sure this is the correct terminology?:)

  2. Nigel–I think that the word “dick-matized” refers to the hynosis that some women, like myself, have with the penis. I can completely relate to the term because, as I am very oral, I enjoy the male anatomy very much.

    You are right that some women are scared to touch it (skipping the cut it off–something Freudian there!) and some giggle like silly school girls. But, for the woman that is sexually empowered, she often finds herself in love with the member as well as the man. As Susan points out, it even sometimes goes as far as attraction to the member without an attraction to the man.

    For myself, it is the other way around, a man can be very attractive without being sexually attractive. Do I love the manly bits? Oh yeah…so much. But part of the attraction of a man is not his dick. It is his mind and ability to respect me as a sexual woman. And for that, I reward and worship him and his manhood very well. ~~Dee

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