Christmas Reminder: Through a Rapist’s Eyes

sexuality, sex blogs, sex , erotica female, eroticaMy Favorite Scorpio sent this to me.  I thought, in view of all of the Christmas shopping and parties happening in the near future, it would make a good reminder.  Love to him for remembering me.  Love to you for taking the time to read it through!

Please pass it along…
A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interviewed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:
1.) The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle.  They are most likely to go after a woman witha ponytail, bun, braid or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed.  They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair.  Women with short hair are not common targets.
2.) The second thing men look for is clothing.  They will look for women who’s clothing is easy to remove quickly.  Many of them carry scissors around specifically to cut clothing.
3.) They also look for women on their cell phone, searching through their purse, or doing other activities while walking because they are off-guard and can be easily overpowered.
4.) Men are most likely to attack & rape in the early morning, between 5:00a.m. and 8:30a.m.
5.) The number one place women are abducted from/attacked is grocery store parking lots. The number two: office parking lots/garages.  Number three: public restrooms.
6.) The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to another location where they don’t have to worry about getting caught.
7.) Only 2% said they carried weapons because rape carries a 3-5 yearsentence but rape with a weapon is 15-20 years.
8.) If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize  that going after you isn’t worth it because it will be time-consuming.
9.) These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas, or other similar objects that can be used from a distance in their hands.  Keys are NOT a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon.  So, the idea is to convince these guys you’re not worth it.
10.) Several defense mechanisms he taught us are: If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like ‘what time is it?’, or make general small talk: ‘I can’t believe it is so cold out here,’ ‘We’re in for a bad winter.’  Now you’ve seen their face and could identify them in a line-up; you lose appeal as a target.
11.) If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell STOP! or STAY BACK!  Most of the rapists this man talked to said they’d leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back.  Again, they are looking for an EASY target.
12.) If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes), yell I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.
13.) If someone grabs you, you can’t beat them with strength but you can by outsmarting them.  If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the Arm (between the elbow and armpit) OR in the upper inner thigh VERY VERY HARD.  One woman in a class this guy taught told him she
used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands – the guy needed stitches.  Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it – it hurts.
14.) After the initial hit, always GO for the GROIN.  I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy’s parts it is extremely painful.  You might think that you’ll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause a lot of trouble.  Start causing trouble and he’s out of there.
15.) When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible.  The instructor did it to me without using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked audibly.
16.) Of course the things we always hear still apply.  Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior, don’t dismiss it, go with your instincts!!!  You may feel a little silly at the time, but you’d feel much worse if the guy really was trouble.

Quick Tips

1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do : The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do it!
2. Learned this from a tourist guide in New Orleans:  If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you….chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you, and he will go for the wallet/purse.  RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!
3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car, kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy.  The driver won’t see you, but everybody else will. This has saved lives.
4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, working, etc, and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc.)  DON’T DO THIS!  The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go.  AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR, LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE.
a. If someone is in the car with a gun to your head DO NOT DRIVE OFF, repeat:  DO NOT DRIVE OFF! Instead gun the engine and speed into anything, wrecking the car.  Your Air Bag will save you.  If the person is in the back seat they will get the worst of it.  As soon as the car crashes bail out and run.  It is better than having them find your body in a remote location.
5 A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot or parking garage:
A.) Be aware: look around you, look into your car, at the passenger side floor, and in the back seat.
B.) If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door.  Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.
C.) Look at the car parked on the driver’s side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the  seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out.  IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)
6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot. This is especially true at
7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times. And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN, preferably in a zigzag pattern!
8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP! It may get you raped or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well-educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked ‘for help’ into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.
9. Another Safety Point: Someone just told me that her friend heard a crying baby on her porch the night before last, and she called the police because it was late and she thought it was weird. The police told her ‘Whatever you do, DO NOT open the door.’
The lady then said that it sounded like the baby had crawled near a window, and she was worried that it would crawl to the street and get run over. The policeman said, ‘We already have a unit on the way, whatever you do, DO NOT open the door.’  He told her that they think a serial killer has a baby’s cry recorded and uses it to coax women out of their homes thinking that  someone dropped off a baby.  He said they have not verified it, but have had several calls by women saying that they hear baby’s cries outside their doors when they’re home alone at night.
Please pass this on and DO NOT open the door for a crying baby — This should be taken seriously because the Crying Baby theory was mentioned on America’s Most Wanted this past Saturday when they profiled the serial killer in Louisiana.

12 thoughts on “Christmas Reminder: Through a Rapist’s Eyes

  1. Julia–During our time with the Marines, we are taught simple self defense. It is an awesome thing to find yourself violently and quickly powerless against an attacker. Unfortunately, rapist dont take holidays and because of the season we tend to let our guard down. Good will toward men, but protect yourself. ~~Dee

  2. Yes,
    Some good ideas in this post.
    Violence against women is a big problem in Australia, especially for teenagers.

    The only thing I might add to the list is some pionters on fear and anger management.

    Great post as always.

  3. Nigel–Oddly, your point of fear management is well taken. During my self defense class, they taught us to contain our fear because panic leads to the inability to think clearly.

    Strange that teens are so effected in Austrialia. I think it is rather an under reported event for teenage girls. There is a stigma on the women here as they are grilled and treated as “asking for it.” ~~Dee

  4. Sooo… rapists and potential rapists must LOVE the makers of the Blackberry and other texting devices. Because I swear I see more women totally paying attention to texting someone when they are walking in a parking lot (i.e: Wal-Mart, grocery store, etc..) than bothering with their surroundings!

    Heck, I love listening to my iPod when I shop, but the minute I’m ready to leave the store, those ear buds come out and my ears perk up for safety reasons.

    Oh… and I’m highly disturbed by the fact that rapists in jail CONSIDERED the fact that they would go to jail LONGER for carrying a weapon. Good grief!!!! “I’m willing to commit this crime and serve a little time if I get caught, but I don’t want to go away for a *long* time.” WTF???

  5. Kitty–Well…they are criminals. If they had a logical stream of thought that did not think first of how to work the legal system, then they would just be a rock star on MTV! 😉

    I do agree. Women are too lulled into comfort of thinking that violence only happens to others. Yes…we fumble with our Blackberry and jog in remote areas with Ipod in tact.

    Interesting point of fact: saw a girl jogging in the park the other day (very wooded, remote area) with an Ipod in her ears and short shorts with the words “piece of ass” across her butt giggling like a red bulls eye as she ran. ~~Dee

  6. “she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands” … fucking ouch!! … but good on her!!

    i always take my iPod with me when i go hiking and then i never listen to it because i can never hear anything going on around me and i just can’t do that … it screams of “unsafe”

    and i will admit, i am a blackberry text offender but never while i’m walking … i have a tendency to walk into things … built in safety net!! lol!!! see it pays to be blonde, no matter how fake!!

  7. TG–Yes….it does sound like it was painful. I did laugh aloud when I read it! And he thought she was the victim. I just kept wondering if when he was on the ground bleeding out if she thought twice about saving his useless ass. Because you know, that act will only make him more agressive toward the next woman he attacks…and rapist are not curable by jail time / treatment.

    I know…I know…not a really Christian attitude. But, I am just saying. I might have been alittle pissed by his blood on my shoes and his hand prints around my throat. ~~Dee

  8. Dee, well done.

    Some women are so oblivious to threatening danger that I am astonished. Just being aware of your surroundings is the first step if not the most important in safety. I dont even care who you are, and how strong you are. Pay attention. Look people in the eye when you are out and about. Check your mirrors when you are driving.

    I miss you my dear.

  9. An excellent list, and an excellent time to post it. Thank you for the reminders.

    One I had never thought of, or knew about, was sitting in the car. I am so guilty of this one. I will certainly think twice from now on.

    ~Best Wishes~

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