It Aint Easy Being Sleazy!

sexuality, sex blogs, sex , erotica female, eroticaOnce more into the fray…so to speak.  Translation=I am about to step out on that shaky limb that approaches the idea of sex education and children.  I know.  I KNOW.  Rant rant rant.  But, hey…if you don’t like it or don’t agree…let me know or find the door.  I am good with either a sound verbal wrestling match with logical, intelligent people or a mass exodus of the idiots!

There was an article recently called “Grade-school Lolita: So Sexy So Soon.”  As I read through the article blaming all of the troubles with young girls becoming too sexual at a young age on everyone from media to mass culture, it seemed to me that the blame did not fall in the one place that children spend most of their time AND the place that holds the educational responsibilities of any society.  YES…hello, the school.

Now, as many may have noticed, I do not have the obligatory warning that my blog contains adult content and I am not listed with the adult blog directories.  Why?  Simple really…I believe that discussion about sexuality and sex between those who know and those who want to know is a moral imperative.  Nothing wrong or needing warning.  SexyWhispers does not cause cancer or pollute the environment.  Seeking knowledge does not come with an obligation to check ID at the door to make sure that people are “old enough” to know the truth about sexual relationships.  Granted, the answers might morph a bit if I were talking to a 13 year old girl than if I were speaking to a 35 year old woman (although…I must confess that the questions are probably the same!), but if responsible, informed, intelligent women do not gather around to guide the sexual development of the next generation of girls, then how do we assume that they will learn about their bodies and sexuality?

Ummm….how did you learn about sex?  Enuf said!  But, I digress.

While it is true that there is too much sex in the media, there is way MORE violence in society, media, and schools.  And, without the proper guidance to find the answers to the important questions of sexuality, young girls will sexually mimic what they see in music videos, friends, and media.

Am I advocating that we teach young girls about their bodies and sex in a way that might make them into strong confident women who don’t feel like they have to pimp themselves out to get the interest of a man?  Ummm…well, yeah. 

What are we scared of?  That they might use what they are learning in sex education?

Kind of the point I would say!  You see…kids are going to have sex and be sexually active.  In reality, we are teaching young women to be strong and protect themselves.  We are showing them how to use sex as a pleasure instead of have it used against them as a weapon. 

But, first…it begins by creating a generation of young girls that feel good in their skin with a healthy self-esteem.  If I had to look around mass media at the influences on young girls, then I would have to say to parents…don’t hide sexuality from young women.  In a culture concerned with perfect skin, boobs, butts, make-up, and clothes, I don’t think it is the sexual depictions in media we should worry about.  It is the lack of counter-influence by real people in children’s lives.  Children are not being stolen from their beds at night.  Parents, due to comfort or fear, are lulled into giving out only enough information to get young girls through high school.  But the point screams at me….those are only 4 years of their lives (and not even the hardest years—not matter what they think!). 

WHAT ABOUT THE OTHER 50 YEARS AFTER THAT?

In short, we are not preparing young women for life.  And, in that…we fall and we fail because they will attempt to do it themselves.  ~~Dee

6 thoughts on “It Aint Easy Being Sleazy!

  1. Dee — have you been following the line of “love yourself” videos /commericals that Dove has been putting out? VERY good for self esteem of both young and old women everywhere. 🙂

  2. Kitty–I have been following that program and I think for a corporate effort it is fine. To me, it seems rather sterile because taking oaths to have a high self-esteem is like taking an oath not to drink or have sex. That only helps parents sleep at night. In the trenches, when a 13 year old girl is called fat by her peers or she sees other girls performing oral sex in a closet at party, what happens to that oath when she wants to fit in? Plus, it does not go the extra step of helping her develop her sexuality–IMHO–where true long term self-esteem and comfort in your body stems. When you know what you like, want, need, and feel, the world can depose you…it wont matter. You will be strong enough to counter. ~~Dee

  3. What we are witnessing, I think, is a backlash from the days when sex was never talked about except on your wedding night. The pendulum will always swing far in the opposite direction when it’s been pulled too far the other way. I think it will even out eventually.

    I think the most important thing we can do for our kids is talk to them and be open with them. Sex is wonderful and healthy and they should know that. And they should know that it can be the opposite if they are not ready and comfortable with that kind of intimacy. It’s up to us as parents to open that line of communication.

  4. Finn–So very wise and so very true. As important as teaching young girls to be sexually aware and have a great self-esteem, teaching young boys that part of being a great man is self-assurance and acknowledging sexuality in others. I always hear people talk about girls with strong self-esteem without a recognition that boys need an “adjusted” self-esteem that does not include grunting, scratching, and burping. I know… boys will be boys, but we have to teach them to be the type of men that we would want to love too! 😉 ~~Dee

  5. Someone asked me the other day what I’d say to my kids about when it’s okay to have sex for the first time. here was my response.

    “I’ll say to them what I said to myself and what I say to anyone who asked. If you can have sex with a partner one night, and look at yourself in the mirror the next morning, EVEN IF that person will have nothing else to do with you after your sexual experience, then you’re ready.”

    All too often people (especially girls) have sex because they think they’re going to be with that person FOR FOREVER. More likely than not, especially in high school, they won’t, so my focus is on making sure you’re ready on the inside to have sex for the first time even if you’re going to be alone when you wake up in the morning.

  6. Randi–They should post this on every girls bathroom school wall in America! PLEASE also be the mom that buys condoms. When one of my girlfriends explaned the other day that she bought condoms for her 16 year old daughter who was in a year long relationship with her boyfriend, she was severely heckled. She said in her mind it was the equal of buying things for her period. It was a matter of health and she was protecting her daughter from a pregnancy that would mess up her life. I wonder how many parents fail to remember–as you state–you are preparing them for healthy sexual experiences. Bless you for that!! ~~Dee

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