It’s Raining Men!

sexuality, sex blogs, sex , erotica female, eroticaI absolutely love to travel with The Marine.  When we travel together, we get alone time over meals and while driving that we hardly ever get otherwise.  We are so similar that we share thoughts and ideals.  I can often say stupid things to him…stop…try again…and he finishes my sentence perfectly.  And coming from him, it sounds logical.

There is an adage that states “Ask a stupid question…”  Well, sometimes, when you ask a stupid question, you get a prophetic answer as a gift.  Maybe it is a gift for being courageous enough to ask. I don’t know, but I was so impressed with this exchange that I have to share the quiet conversation that evolved at lunch on our way to Orlando.

As we were eating, I suddenly found myself saying, “What is it like to be a man?”  I had been thinking of all of the privileges and treatments men get by society just for being born with the ability to pee standing up when the waitress put the check on his side of the table as she strolled off.

Without looking up or missing a bite, he said, “well…competitive.”

Not at all expecting that answer (although I can’t say what I did expect), my quizzical look brought further explanation.

“We are born to believe that we have to be the fittest.  Win the race, support our families, work the hardest, make the most money, date the prettiest women, and drive the fastest cars.  We are taught not to show fear, love, pain, sensuality, or weakness.  Even though we don’t have to hunt for food anymore, we still have to maintain our caveman attitude or be considered weak.  We are told to hold up the world on our shoulders and be happy about it.”

Incredible.  I blinked a few times to clear away the fog.  Huh…I have to think about that one.  More to come.  ~~Dee

11 thoughts on “It’s Raining Men!

  1. Interesting….I’ll have to ask Ranger this question. The thing is, I already get the whole “competitive” side. He’s made enough mention of it in such off hand ways that it seems to be second nature. Hmmm… curious, wonder if it’s a “military” correlation?? 😉

  2. dee, you’re so insightful about relationships, that I can’t believe you’ve never thought about this before. Hubby is right, with the caveat that sometimes we’re not even aware of how driven many of us are to be constantly worried (or concerned) about making a living, providing for our families, and not being seen as weak. It’s so completely ingrained into our psyches that we don’t even see that we have any other options.

    The 60s and 70s saw huge social change, which for me is much, much bigger than many women realize. Women working? Men competing with women for jobs? Men being “allowed” to be more cuddly with the children? Trust me, most men don’t even realize themselves how much things have changed.

  3. Tom–I have thought about it, but his comment brought it right into my face. Lets face it, men never think to ask….what is it like to be a woman just as much as women never think to ask the opposite. It is amazing to me how those big things can sneak up on you in a short time.

    I believe that men have changed due to the female revolution that happened. But, I think that men still hold themselves back so much that they dont even see how much of their lives they are missing. Is it is something society teaches? Yes, but I am a huge believer in responsiblity. So, I think that it is up to you….the enlightened men of the world…..who realize that this mentality exists to change it. Just as I think it is up to women to address their issues with sexuality.

    I wonder sometimes if the 60s and 70s did not create even bigger issues for the men of the world. Women did not really gain any ground and men only felt threatened as a result. Am I being too short sighted or simplistic? ~~Dee

  4. I think the Marine’s comment crosses some cultures too, because that is very similar to Australian attitudes. Although it is changing.

    In Australia many sins are forgiven if a man achieves victory on the sporting field and it was difficult for me to give up rugby earlier this year, on doctors orders.

    It means I am no longer metaphoricaly, a hunter.

  5. Nigel–I wonder if the attitude is changing or men are learning to suppress it more. I mean, I see men going through what I would call the Superman syndrome (similar to the Superwoman syndrome that women experienced in the 90s) where he has to be all things to all people including a super dad, breadwinner, and alpha male. I wonder….what have we gained in our struggle for freedom? Women go through the same issues of not being “enough” of a woman at many points in their lives. I wonder if men go through the same cycles. Survival of the fittest is not a male experience….women who are prettiest with the nicest shape and charms….well, they win the alpha men right? Same experience…different flavor I think. ~~Dee

  6. Perhaps a better question would be; “What are the social and cultural constructions of gender and what are the relationships between the construction of maleness and femaleness?”

    I definately believe that gender as opposed to biological sex is created, similar to the conventions of identity and kinship.

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