Sharing Sex Fantasies

sexuality, sex blogs, sex , erotica female, erotica, fantasiesI am given to rip articles out of magazines and carry them around until I figure out what I wanted to say about it.  Now is the time…there was an article in Glamour magazine (August 2008) about women’s sexual fantasies.  Some of these fantasy “facts” ranked high on my WTF meter.  Let me know what you think…

Under the question of “Are your sex fantasies normal?”:

  • 29% of women feel guilty about their fantasies.–Feel guilty?  For what?  Get over yourself and enjoy the ride. 
  • 72% of women say they fantasize during sex to get turned on.–I find this sooo sad.  If he is not doing it right enough to get you turned on, then teach him how!
  • 64% of women say they dream about sex in a public place.–one car, one parking garage, two people….and it will literally rain inside that car from the steam!
  • 30% of women say they have acted out ONE of their fantasies.–Just one?  Come on now…the other 70% need to get in gear.
  • 47% of women say that their real sex life is better than their fantasies.–Again, you have the power here.  Make your sex life as spicy as you want it…act some of those fantasies out!


Under the question of “3 weird things that are very normal:”

  • Fantasizing about Submission 
  • Wanting to have sex with a stranger (27%)–I think that the other 73% are LYING!  How many women have never seen a man in a bar or in the grocery without the thought of ‘getting a piece of that?’  Just once?
  • Fear of a partners fantasies


I want it said that there is NO normal when it comes to fantasies.  As long as no one is suffering permenent damage and all parties are consenting (and of age), the normal is what sexually turns us on and gives us the most sexual pleasure!  This bothers me greatly because I dont like the idea of segregating sexuality by “normal” or “abnormal.”  What might give me hot flashes might leave the next woman cold!  Lets not set a standard….lets just share techniques!   😉

Fantasy Partners:

  • An Ex (52%)
  • A Celebrity (51%)
  • An Older Man (39%)
  • A Man in Uniform (38%)
  • A Boss (23%)
  • A much Younger Man (22%)


Why do we fantasize about the unavailable men?  The dangerous ones?  It might seem like forbidden fruit, but really…the fruit you can have can be very juicy too!  ~~Dee

9 thoughts on “Sharing Sex Fantasies

  1. I totally agree! There is nothing “normal” “weird” or “abnormal” about fantasies. As a matter of fact, sometimes sharing fantasies DURING sex can be the hottest thing ever.. hee.hee..hee!!

  2. I love fantasies – I HATE that my husband hasn’t made an effort to make any of them come true, when I’ve made almost all of his come true!

    YES I’ve told him about my fantasies…many, MANY times. YES I’ve explained about how important it is for me for HIM to try to make them come true. Has he?


    And get this – last night we were playing around, and the toy we were using wasn’t on my clit. So I looked at him and asked him to put it there. He missed. SEVERAL TIMES. I showed him, and he still couldn’t get the toy to angle there right, when I could in a heartbeat!

    Are there classes for men who suck at sex?

  3. Randi–There are classes for men who suck at sex. And we usually have to give them! I dont think that men are purposely bad at sex. It is just that they dont have a clit. Not being stupid… reality. Most men dont have any knowledge of the female body and most women are not willing to help them understand. So, when you say it is not on my clit, he does not (IMHO) miss it on purpose. A man loves to feel like he can please his woman. But…he would not know a clit from an eyebrown pencil. They need literally for you to take them by the hand and show them…probably several times. Plus, I hate to say this, but we are responsible for our sexual fulfillment (again….IMHO) and talking with your partner is essential to achieving that. You know you fantasies. Have you tried to set one up? Have you made him responsible for his part? I do believe that men suffer from great amounts of insecurities just like women. But, one example that came to mind was oral sex. The Marine is (was) Catholic. I am very oral. So, our first oral outing was difficult for him and, yes, he did protest greatly because it went against his beliefs. I worked him into it slowly instead of discussing it. I showed him how rather than told him. Now, it is like foreplay. Guide him by the hand. ~~Dee

  4. Wait a minute – there wasn’t a category for women who fantasized about 50 year old, devilishly handsome bloggers?


    When I read this, I see a problem with communication and intimacy. The thing is, communication is so fraught with weird stuff. For example, Randi might actually be doing a good job of communicating to her husband what she wants, but her husband – even though he hears her – may have issues with his own security and competency which affects how he interprets what she says.

    A while back, I had a partner who became very reluctant to experiment, and ended up not doing anything to please me. After a number of fights and frustrations, I decided to break things off. It came out later that when I made suggestions, what she heard was her own insecurity saying “You’re doing it wrong, you suck at this.” Had she talked to me about her fears, things might have been different.

    As someone who’s been there, all I can say is that it takes a lot of practice and a willingness to work at it.

  5. Tom–Are you kidding? Every woman fantasized about 50 year old, devilishly handsome bloggers? But, alas, there are not enough of you to go around….so we all suffer in vein!! 😉

    You are so wise. It is true…most of us, especially men, take our ego into the bedroom. We speak a totally different language outside of the bedroom and those difference are amplified inside of an intimate setting. I could also suggest to reinforce positive things he does sexually. When you tell him what he is doing well then he will be more inclined to share the love. But sometimes, we have to take matters into our own hands. He might be scared of “screwing it up” if he tries….so plan that fantasy and let him participate for the first time. Then, he can get creative and plan some variations. ~~Dee

  6. Good point Tom, so I’ll ask for your opinion on this:

    Say wife knows that husband has always fantasized about having a 3some with another woman. Say wife puts aside her own inhibitions for an evening, giving him the best 35th birthday any man has ever had.

    Say, then, said wife later reminds her husband that her fantasy of being romanced, ie. candles, bubble bath, pampering, ect, hasn’t yet been attempted, and that she would really like to experience it.

    Say then that said husband has made NO effort (in the entire 8 years they’ve been together, and four months since said birthday) to make that romantic fantasy a reality.

    Is this an insecurity thing, or does said husband need a smack upside the head?

  7. fantasies are meant to share, like a goal, a checklist

    i think we all fantasize about celebrities because they are portrayed in the perfect light and they look … perfect … who doesn’t want a perfect gerard butler’s face between their legs … oh come on, don’t lie!!

    other than that the only fantasy guy i haven’t had is the boss because i just think that is unethical … unless you are quitting the next day!! lol!!!

  8. TG–I do agree. But, you have a good point. Fantasies represent a type of unachievable perfection. So, while we should use them to our advantage…we should also be aware that they are NOT the ideal. ~~Dee

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