More than Words

sexuality, sex blogs, sex , erotica female, erotica“What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldn’t make things new
Just by saying I love you.

Now I’ve tried to talk to you and make you understand
All you have to do is close your eyes
And just reach out your hands and touch me
Hold me close don’t ever let me go
More than words is all I ever needed you to show
Then you wouldn’t have to say that you love me
Cos I’d already know”—
More Than Words, Extreme

                
A friend of mine told me the other day that “conversation was a lost art form.”  Not for me.  I do nothing but talk to people all day long.  Those close to me will tell you that I hate to talk on the phone, but…in truth…there is a simple confusion here.  Conversation is not a lost art.  People talk the day away without every slamming a subject and verb together in such a way as it would convey an idea or express a feeling.  Women are the worse about this.  I can listen to a woman talk for 45 minutes and not be sure at the end what was said.

Do not throw things at me or start a nasty email.  You know, if this upsets you…look in the mirror….might be true!

However, there are people that I enjoy talking to on the phone, in email, and in person.  They are the people that know that communication is the lost art, but conversation is alive and kicking!  See…the difference from where I stand is that communication uses every part of your being to convey an idea to another.

Great Communication can be…

  • A slight stroke of my fingers over his hand
  • A phone call that starts with “I just wanted to make sure you were ok”
  • A hug of pure joy when seeing your friend again
  • Eye contact with a stranger across a crowded room
  • A thank you card sent to a parent….for no reason at all

            

I think that the basic misconception about communication is that communication is backed by an action…a feeling…an emotion.  It is not filled with idol chatter about the weather or gossip about the neighbor’s affair.  It is real and true.

Here is a reality check:  I think that most people fail to engage in real communication….not because they don’t know how….but because they have to risk being real with the person they are reaching toward.  And, risk involves the opportunity to be hurt.  I noticed this when I started reading others blogs.  They say things that they think and feel…really be themselves in ways that…they openly acknowledge….they would not be in public or in their own society.

Do you feel more comfortable communicating in cyberspace?  Do you think people communicate better through the screen of a blog or website?  ~~Dee

10 thoughts on “More than Words

  1. I actually find myself censoring more on my blog because it’s open to John Q. Public, than I am with people that I communicate with on a regular basis.

    Then again, there is also the concept of being “socially polite” that holds me back from saying a lot of things as well. It might be a “pick my battle” kind of thing, because I know that there are things that I could say — which would cause a massive blow up in my life and I just don’t want to deal with the drama. 🙂

    Thanks for the call, by the way! xoxooxxo

  2. Kitty–I feel like an idiot on the phone…when not jabbering about Marketing cause thats my thang! Oh and phone sex can get you rich but arrested…. 😉 …but I find that I am equally as honest on the blog as I am in person. Oddly, people tend to be more receptive here on the blog than they do if I say the same things in public. I guess cause this is my house…and it is rude to be rude to people in their own house. Or, just because I can just delete their dumb ass comment and move on! Yeah…that COULD be it too. 🙂 Either way, I do feel really stupid on the phone….but for you…anything! ~~Dee

  3. i agree on the difference between yapping and communication. I loathe small talk and suck at it. This is why I love blogs. People feel freer to open up so you can start a relationship without the annoying, “So what do you do?” stuff. You kind of jump right in…

  4. Finn–I sooooo suck at small talk. When people ask me “What do you do?”, I have been known to answer everything from “I operate a sex blog for women” to “prostitution!” Its the shock value that brings them out of the routine stupid question. I absolutely suck at small talk and I dont trust people usually to be real if they are good at it. It seems like a defense that they use to keep people from knowing them.

    By the same token, when I ask someone “what do you do?” or “how was your day?”….I sit back to really really listen. I want to know the answer. And, I remember that to talk with them about it next time I see them. It is a matter, to me, of investing time instead of spending it. ~~Dee

  5. Internet is a different style of communication from talking, writing, phone calls etc.. All are challenging. Why is it so easy to talk to dogs?

    I see many people stop and have a conversation with a dog they do not know, but talk to a human stranger? I don’t see that very often.

    It is listening that I find most difficult not just to the words but the meanings, definition and intent.

  6. Nigel–I have conversations with my dogs. I like my dogs more than 95% of the people I know. Louis Grizzard said that “you can say fool thing you like to a dog and they will look at you like ‘I never thought of that. You are so smart!'”

    I think that it is more than that….I just aspire to be the person my dog thinks that I am! ~~Dee

  7. i don’t like being awakened at 4am but i feel better getting that call that says, i’m home and i’m safe

    and it makes me wonder …. does that mean this relationship is getting more serious than i thought?

  8. TG–It would assure me that the relationship was getting serious if I accepted a 4am call (those in my close circle can call me anytime, but….) and if he made the 4 am call. Then, yes, I would know were both were moving into a higher place of accepting the relationship as solid. ~~Dee

  9. I think I just communicate better in written form. I’m a thinker and writing allows me to think things through before and during communication. While speaking to people I sometimes stumble upon my thoughts and can’t seem to find the right words to explain what I have in mind. The Internet just seems to help me get my thoughts out to more people at the same time, which I love. I’m not only a thinker, I’m also quite efficient ; )

  10. Jen–I also do this. I feel myself stumbling over words on the phone or my mind wanders off. Sometimes, it is like my mouth cant keep up with the speed of my brain. So, I babble or stammer. My writing lets me get it right until I like it. Do-overs allowed! 8) ~~Dee

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