Family and Sex

Most people get a really icky feeling down deep when they think about their parents having sex.  Ok…confession…I get that feeling too.  Dont even want to mentally walk that road.  Even though I know they must have (cause here I am!), I, like others in the world, would need a brain wash to shake those visuals. 

However, I was lucky in several ways.

All of my childhood, I never remember a time when sex was a taboo subject.  We discussed Roe v. Wade at the dinner table.  We talked about the issues surrounding abortion and I was actually given a voice to discuss my understanding of sexual ownership at a very young age.  We discussed the importance of safe sex in protecting you and your partner. 

In a way, it made me older than I needed to  be, but in a more realistic way, it prepared me to take a certain type of responsiblity for myself as both a woman and a sexual being.  Both of my parents took part in our sexual understand of self and gender roles.  For example, I did not have to wash the dishes on a given week because that was “womens work.”  I had to wash the dishes because it was my chore for the week.  It was a simple expectation.

But in quite another way, it made life harder for me too.  Because I had experienced such voice and right to my own opinion, when I walked out into society, I quickly found out that those traits were not prized among my peers or society as a whole. 

See…no one in my family ever told me what not to say….they only ever asked me what I thought.  So, years later, out of this misfit family, we have two nudists (The Brother and Sunshine) and one Porn Queen (yours truly!) with a Marine (which my dad teases The Marine is almost like having a drug dealer in the family!  Dad is ex-Army).  We all consistently walk outside of the rhelm of what society calls normal.  Both The Brother and I  have long term, happy marriages with wonderfully close friends of the opposite sex.  Our spouses also maintain close relationships with members of the opposite sex.

My discussion with The Brother or Sunshine might, at any given time, turn to the topic of sex as easily as not, but none of us are uncomfortable.  In our own insanity, it sounds something like “did you know that blow jobs are being replaced by foot fetishes as the number one fetishes in the country?” 

“I dont see that happening,” The Brother responds and nudges The Marine with a grin.  “Can you pass those cornflakes?”

Nope….we are not at all normal.  But, as I think of it, normal is kind of over rated anyways!  Thank you to my mother who taught us to walk our own path by looking inward…even if we have to fight the world to be who we are because that is the person we would have to answer for in the end.  Peace and cookies!  ~~Dee

6 thoughts on “Family and Sex

  1. Sweetie I dont think there is a definition of normal. Normal is what feels close to your heart and good to your soul. My normal may and will be different from that of yours.

    So yes, you were raised in a normal household. One which i wish i was raised in as well. My mom was too embarrassed to tell me about periods. I cant imagine having a discussion with her about sex let alone other things related to women’s sexuality.

  2. MissM–Normal is only a way to gauge the ‘us’ and ‘them’ mentality. I personally dont want to be considered normal because, for me, that ranges with the boring. Leave me out and bring me another mojito! 😉 ~~Dee

  3. I wish more people were like this. Then maybe we wouldn’t be such an uptight country.

    but it’s weird considering our country is based on appearance and sex but we’re still uptight and don’t talk about stuff.

  4. Teri–I think that is why our society is so obscessed with sex. We try to hide it too much. In other countries that I have visited, sex is just apart of the culture. They speak of sex like they would speak of giving milk to children. No thought given to the taboo subject. More taboo for them are ideas like violence. I understand this too…I would much rather see movies and culture centered on sex than violence. ~~Dee

  5. My mother is very close mouthed about sex. I want my kids to be raised so that they do not see sex as something bad, but rather as something enjoyable that two people can share.

  6. Randi–I would like to think that it is generational, but I see it repeating now–in our times of internet and TVs. People seem 100x’s more comfortable with violence than with sex. Both are natural to human beings–but given my choice… I will take sex EVERY time. Blessings for moms like you. ~~Dee

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