Most people get a really icky feeling down deep when they think about their parents having sex. Ok…confession…I get that feeling too. Dont even want to mentally walk that road. Even though I know they must have (cause here I am!), I, like others in the world, would need a brain wash to shake those visuals.
However, I was lucky in several ways.
All of my childhood, I never remember a time when sex was a taboo subject. We discussed Roe v. Wade at the dinner table. We talked about the issues surrounding abortion and I was actually given a voice to discuss my understanding of sexual ownership at a very young age. We discussed the importance of safe sex in protecting you and your partner.
In a way, it made me older than I needed to be, but in a more realistic way, it prepared me to take a certain type of responsiblity for myself as both a woman and a sexual being. Both of my parents took part in our sexual understand of self and gender roles. For example, I did not have to wash the dishes on a given week because that was “womens work.” I had to wash the dishes because it was my chore for the week. It was a simple expectation.
But in quite another way, it made life harder for me too. Because I had experienced such voice and right to my own opinion, when I walked out into society, I quickly found out that those traits were not prized among my peers or society as a whole.
See…no one in my family ever told me what not to say….they only ever asked me what I thought. So, years later, out of this misfit family, we have two nudists (The Brother and Sunshine) and one Porn Queen (yours truly!) with a Marine (which my dad teases The Marine is almost like having a drug dealer in the family! Dad is ex-Army). We all consistently walk outside of the rhelm of what society calls normal. Both The Brother and I have long term, happy marriages with wonderfully close friends of the opposite sex. Our spouses also maintain close relationships with members of the opposite sex.
My discussion with The Brother or Sunshine might, at any given time, turn to the topic of sex as easily as not, but none of us are uncomfortable. In our own insanity, it sounds something like “did you know that blow jobs are being replaced by foot fetishes as the number one fetishes in the country?”
“I dont see that happening,” The Brother responds and nudges The Marine with a grin. “Can you pass those cornflakes?”
Nope….we are not at all normal. But, as I think of it, normal is kind of over rated anyways! Thank you to my mother who taught us to walk our own path by looking inward…even if we have to fight the world to be who we are because that is the person we would have to answer for in the end. Peace and cookies! ~~Dee