There are many things that can disrupt the lives of couples. Often, at the first sign of trouble, the natural inclination of women is to hold on tighter. Like that marry-go-round I rode so innocently as child, spinning round and round until I fell on the ground dizzy and disoriented, being separated from your partner can be equally as confusing. Not for the temporary distance or the lack of companionship—I think—but, because we are again forced to face our biggest enemy alone: ourselves.
Last week, The Marine had to switch over to work second shift and this week he is working third shift. I feel a complete wonder at the ridiculousness of the existence of doing small things without another person. For example, I wonder into the kitchen at the appropriate time for dinner and just stand there like I am waiting for Divine intervention to intercede. I can almost feel the giddiness as I imagine that the Lord laughing at me and saying, “take the stir fry.”
But the point is that there are so many things that we take for granted in relationships because we are so busy doing other things and wishing our lives away with trivial drivel such as worrying about work. Instead of changing the things we can change, we sit ideally by and act surprised when we are left in the house alone…without the comfort of that strong hand on your shoulder …that warm soul that cuddles us near at night…that sweet whisper in our ear that brings peace to my being.
For these two weeks, I am very grateful. When I spend time with myself, I realize why I married The Marine. Because of all we share and all we are together, we are stronger together than we ever are apart. He gives me breath and reminds me of my humanity. He wades into the waters when it gets too deep for me and drags me out before the current takes me under. He accepts the person I am while challenging / expecting me to be more. And, when I am too hard on myself, he smiles and reminds me of reality.
Many will tell you that you should never invest everything you are in one person. I will tell you that you should only invest everything you are in the right person…with an equal investment in you. Its like someone walking up to you and saying, “I will give you 1 million dollars if you spend it all in one week.” Would you say…”No, I dont wish to take all that money because it will be gone in a week?” I think not. You would start picking out the best places around to buy shoes!
Until his return at dawn, I will be sleeping with the enemy. But, in a truly ironic sense, dawn will bring him home with the renewal of hope for another day. One day, for one of us, I realize that will not be the case. This isolation will become complete and real as one of us wont return home. I, for one, will find every ounce of happiness I can while it lasts!
Live, love, laugh….and share it with someone else! Invest in those you love and NEVER hestitate to tell them so. ~~Dee