Here is how it all started. A few nights ago, right before bed, I said to The Marine, “I think that I will make next week on SexyWhispers about oral sex. Discuss all the details of what makes great oral sex for men and women.”
“Good,” he replied, “mind if we sleep with the window open tonight?” not even looking up for the towels he was folding (if you think that makes me lucky that he folds the towels, it is because they have to be a certain size and shape. Left over Marine Corps stuff….I gave it up years ago for sanity.) And, really, that is always how sexuality has always been in our lives. Not a matter of bargaining or hiding…just a matter of sharing the information. So, here we go.
First, why? I think that I want to talk about oral sex so much because you are not supposed to talk about it. Taboo…yes. Let’s face one simple fact: oral sex probably pre-dates intercourse really because people always tend to put things in their mouth. I know…its Freudian, but watch babies with their fingers or toes. From the first moment we learn that things taste good and feel good in our mouth, we are lost in the world of oral fetishes. And things feel good in our mouth because of the incredible amount of nerves in the mouth, lips, and tongue. The lips are the first contact of sexual exploration for kissing. This is not socially unacceptable. If you were to say in public that you kissed someone last night after a date, then every one would smile and start imagining wedding bells. But, for one small moment, can you imagine the preacher saying at a wedding ceremony, “you may now tongue fuck the bride until she begs for mercy?” Uh huh…right after you take Granny to the Emergency room.
What bothers me more than the belief that oral sex is a taboo topic is the complete misconception that women do not like or want oral sex. In a poll by sexinfo101, 37% of women say they liked to perform oral sex. While I agree there is a strong vulnerability for women performing oral sex, I think most women have a hang up for one of these reasons:
Self image: Women are not comfortable enough with their bodies (smell, shape, taste) to recline and let a partner work her into a wet heat. GRAB A CLUE: Get to know your own body. Yes, masturbate if needed. Learning to enjoy the reaction of your body to your own hands and you will understand quickly that there is nothing wrong with the way your body operates when flaming hot.
Education: Most men and women are not educated past the most recent soft core porn movie on the wonders of oral sex. GRAB A CLUE: Porn is not real people. Get past it and pick up a book or surf the web some. There are tons of materials to get you up to speed.
Wrong Moves: Most people are concerned that they will do something wrong. GRAB A CLUE: For men, be careful of your teeth. Anything else and he is SOOO willing to let you have your oral way with him! For women, be gentle until you see a response. Let her show you with response and movement what she likes. The clit can be extremely delicate and it’s not like an ice cream cone (just licking it wont do!!—nuf said).
In the next few posts, we will discuss oral sex positions, best techniques (for men and women), discussion about oral fetishes, and some oral sex erotica to set the mood.
But, you know what the MOST important thing about oral sex will always be? The oral part…talk about it with your partner. Find out what they like…don’t like…and what they will do. Talking about oral sex can be very hot.
The next post will feature a post from one my girls of the *Cathouse.* Until then, the question to ask yourself is not if you are in the 37% of women who love oral sex, but instead….would you like to be? 😉
Take my hand, the fear last a moment, but the freedom lasts a lifetime! ~~Dee
HINT: Surf over to sexinfo101 for some fun exploration of the land of sex (their polls are especially fun—learned lots about women including the topic female fantasies!). Careful though, between the polls, information on all types of sex for men and women, articles, I must have been there for an hour easy. I am such a sucker for a poll (no oral pun intended of course!).
BTW….that is not an endorsement….just a cool site that I have fun exploring!