TURNING and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity. (Yeats, The Second Coming)
One of the oddest things to me has always been the lack of humanity that people see in me. All of my life, people have considered me too strong to be hurt. People have seen me as inspiration without the perspiration. When I fail to smile at every minute, people wonder at the slip in the crown.
In truth, I am as real as the next person.
I know pain because I have experienced it. And sometimes, my heart still hurts.
I feel freedom because I have been in a box. And sometimes, my soul still shakes from the fear.
I understand suffering because I have known the need. And sometimes, my mind still rages against the injustice.
In truth: I do have a perfect marriage free of the restrictions placed on the most women.
In reality: The Marine and I work on our marriage every minute of every day and cherish the time we breathe the same air…and curse the times we don’t.
- In truth: I do have a strong circle of people that I pull close to me.
In reality: When these people get too far away from me, I get depressed or sad.
- In truth: I do have an incredible amount of self-confidence and self-assurance in my worth as a person.
In reality: The people who I love have to wade into deep waters to rescue me from the troubled waters that I often struggle.
- In truth: I do have a strong sense of having everything together with my “A Game” in public.
In reality: Some of the people that I care for the most suffer at my inability to trust with all of my heart.
I guess that….in truth and in reality….I am just like everyone else. Only difference, instead of standing in the darkness, I choose to light a match. ~~Dee