When I speak to women, I am often asked at this time of the year what my New Years Resolutions will be for the next year. I, in all honestly, do not believe in New Years Resolutions because it assumes that course correction is only needed once a year. I like to evaluate where I am going and what I am trying to achieve at least once a month. Those who love me best will tell you that it is an exhausting struggle with me of constant evaluation of what I want vs. what I don’t want in my life. So, my New Year Resolution tends to read more like a Bill of Rights than a series of accomplishments for any year.
Sexual Bill of Rights (or the Female Emancipation Proclamation for 2008):
Strength: Often misunderstood, strength comes from an inner quality of knowing what you can / will take from life, people, and situations before you effect a change. Strength in knowing what you are made of and being amazed at what you have, deep down inside, to improve your game.
• Reflection—Strength is not always about making the right choices. Rather, knowing why you made a choice and understanding the options is the best path to course correction. If you usually doubt yourself or make bad decisions, find someone you trust to use as a sounding board. Be sure that you do not become co-dependant and the person you trust does not have an agenda.
Empowerment: Make a pledge this year that you will not let the relationships in your life limit your life. This may seem very cruel, but The Marine and My Favorite Scorpio will tell you that I do not keep relationships in my life that cost more than they return …especially on an ongoing basis. Let’s face it, everyone is needy sometimes. Sometimes your BFF will call you and need to talk through the break up with the jackass who was never worthy of her. There are family, financial, and friend junk that separates those who have your back from those who you smile at in the grocery. But, some people are on permanent ‘whine’ setting.
• Reflection— Give yourself permission to surround yourself with people who make you smile and your eyes sparkle from the very moment you hear their name. There are people that I trust to tell anything because they have always had my back. I will walk through quicksand for them. Keep them close.
Love: Learn to hear and understand your own needs. Most women tend to overextend their lives in a need to do and be everything for everyone. Assess your needs and find time to give back to yourself. Read a book in a bubble bath with a glass of wine. Buy your favorite coffee or savor a cup on Sunday morning with your newspaper. You don’t have to spend hours of time (because who can find that much time right??), but you can find small blocks of time just for you.
• Reflection—Loving yourself means that you feel comfortable saying “no” at the right time. Don’t let others bully you into what you don’t want to do. Consider your time management needs and do what makes the most sense for you first. You can not help another person if you feel obligated or overwhelmed.
Fulfillment: Accept the fact that you deserve to be sexually, emotionally, and physically satisfied with your life. When you look into your soul and can see a woman that is at ease with the state of her life she has created, then she will never be unhappy with herself. Knowing that you must be honest with yourself and, possibly, another person about their roles and performance in your life mean that there might be big decisions to make filled with some painful points.
• Reflection—The best thing about correcting your course as you go, instead of New Years Resolutions, is that nothing gets to a point where it is bigger than you can handle. Smaller changes are easier to make, so when you see a choice is not working for you, then find another solution.
In case you are confused, these words equal “SELF.” You always have to focus on yourself first to be happy.
Feel free to print these and hang them over your personal space. Subtract the ones that don’t matter to you at all. Add the ones that make this list your “must haves” for success in 2008. Whatever makes this list important to you, remember that success is not determined by the results at the end of any one day. Success is experiencing yourself as a woman and getting what you want out of each day.
In truth, I have heard so many people say that 2007 was a terrible year. My question is always the same: What did you do to make it different? If you answer is stay up until midnight on Dec. 31, 2007 with the hopes the New Years fairy would swoop in make everything different, then start at the beginning of this post and read again.
In truth, the biggest factor in your happiness for any one given timeframe is YOU. Re-evaluate your options often and make 2008 the year you changed your life.
Remember: I spoke at length about the first SexyWhispers sponsored phone chat sessions. I am going to keep talking about that until I get a group of interested women for the first sexy session. Start the New Year off right. Join us…its free, you can use whatever name you like, and you dont have to talk until you are comfortable! ~~Dee