Sex and Lies

female erotica, literotica, sex blogs, sexAn intelligent gentleman of my acquaintance (and you know who you are—because I know you read SexyWhispers), said to me that “I have a flaw: I think I can fix a man.”  I have met a few men that I wanted to “fix” in my life because I honestly believed they deserved it.  Even as The Marine and My Favorite Scorpio (with an assortment of the ladies in the *Cathouse*) start to giggle like 10 year old girls talking about boys for the first time, I am sure that I hear this fine gentleman stuttering.  It’s ok though…I love it when a man stutters! (evil grin)

Now, in truth, he did not mean me specifically at all.  He meant all of the women of the world will tolerate a lying man because we believe we can fix him and make him into the man we want him to be.  Generally speaking, I am the first one to love the mind and kind of a man.  Complete respect for those that represent their sex with intelligence of a man not the insecurity of a boy.  For them, they get the gift of my being and sexuality with a strong dose of realism peppered with a passion for life rarely matched. 

There are those men, however, that believe I am the natural choice for “ninja bitch” in the next Quentin Tarantino movie.  It’s fine with me because I always say that “when some people don’t like you…you feel better about yourself.”  But, in truth, the underestimation is in that idea that I will tolerate any type of sexual or mental antics from a man that is not my equal as a person.  I don’t wipe my hands on them…I wipe the floor with them.

All this said, what is most important in his post was the idea that men lie to women.  True.  But, I contended that many times, we as women understand that a man is lying to us (especially if it has happened more than one).  We are smart enough to see the pattern even if we don’t want to admit it to ourselves.  Now, why do we continue to accept the idea that a man is lying to us?  IMHO, it is not because we think that we can fix him.  It is because we think that we can save him (from his own stupidity) with enough love, strength, or courage.  So many times, in an effort to do exactly as we promised—because promises are sacred to most of us—we stay around to fight the battle even after the war is over.  This is a characteristic most men could learn.

I will continue to believe that women are, by far, the stronger sex because mentally we are more prepared for the commitments of life.  Even if not sexually aware, we innately understand the concept of unconditional love and practice it to our own demise.  It’s more than just a want to believe in a fairy tale (although I am strongly against the knight in shining armor fairy tales!).  It is the knowledge that when salvation is gone…it takes hope with it.  This is a prevalent theme in our culture, society, and mores.

So, in an effort to save the person we love, we sacrifice ourselves.  It’s not a matter of wrong or right…it is a matter of what is in our nature.  In turn, it is not wrong to try and save someone you love.  I have a motto about my husband—“No one before you…not even myself.”  But, I am able to keep that vision in place because he has the same vision for me.

My real point here:  Don’t let someone hurt you because you are trying to save them.  First, you must be happy to be happy with someone else.  And, when you come to the point when you must walk out that emotional door, hold you head up high and love yourself for being strong enough to do it! ~~Dee

10 thoughts on “Sex and Lies

  1. Oyyy….I loose patience easily. I dont have time for fixer upper men. You are either in tact or you are not. I sometimes want to whack my females friends because they are there to fix and correct their men. I honestly beleive that unless you want to change no amount of fixing up is going to fix you

  2. MissM–Yes Yes….I understand. I think that it is patterned behavior. Some women need a man who is trouble or needs help because it makes them feel wanted. It may even be a substitution for a need to be “sexually” desired. ~~Dee

  3. Save – fix – either way, you can’t do it for us, no matter how much you love us. We have to do it for ourselves. 😉

    And, this post brings up a question that I’m searching inside for an answer to, but why is it that most men tend to love conditionally? I’ve been guilty of it myself too. Whatcha got for me there, Dee?

  4. Mars–The difference between save and fix is motivation, IMHO. Save means that you are reaching for better for another person. To get them out of a situation that is not healthy or unwise. Fix means, in our minds atleast, that there is nothing really wrong except someone does not meet our standards or expectation. Nothing wrong with trying to save someone as long as you dont torture yourself in the process. You can never fix someone because, in truth, they are not broken.

    Men loving conditionally. Let me ponder that with a glass of wine and I will get back to you. Sounds like an interestin topic my friend….one I am sure many ladies would like to comment on!~~Dee

  5. Dee, with that delineation, I see where you’re coming from. And you’re right, there’s nothing wrong with trying to save someone, as long as it’s not to your detriment, but the decision to change still has to come from the person who needs it.

    And I’d love to hear the thoughts on loving conditionally.

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