Secret Life of Sex

female erotica, literotica, sex blogs, sex“Don’t get me wrong.  I admire what you are doing with SexyWhispers.  I just don’t feel comfortable with it.  Perhaps if I take some time to think about it,” she had called specifically to tell me this.  I wondered why. After all, she did not need to call me at all.

“I always work from my first impressions of people.  I encourage you to do so too.  I will tell you that SexyWhispers is part of my soul.  I breathe through SexyWhispers and it breathes through me,” I tried not to be defensive, but I will admit that it was difficult.  It was kind of like hearing someone say that your child is ugly or stupid.  The claws come out by instinct.

For those not sure what is going on, I am the owner and President of a marketing company.  As a potential client, she googled my name to see if I had any skeletons in my closet.  She started by telling me that she had found tons of marketing and advertising materials by my company which was impressive, but there was this other sexual material called SexyWhispers.

“That is not the same person right?” she asked and I smiled at the hopefulness in her voice.

“That….. SexyWhispers….is more me than about anything that I do.  I mean, those are my views, my feelings, my thoughts….it’s my time I invest.  It’s my passion to help women be sexually comfortable.  I believe acceptance of sexuality is a gift for every woman.  I wish you the best in your endeavors if this bothers you.”

Honestly, I am not accustomed to explaining or apologizing for myself.  I don’t try to hurt others and I won’t live my life denying what I am like I have a secret life of sex.  I have a life of sex, but to apologize for that when it is brought to the forefront, to me, says that I do not accept what I am or that I am not proud of myself.  This I will not compromise… this I will not do.

From a business point, I realize that I may well loose clients based on this admission.  I usually tell clients what I do because I am more than proud of my involvement in this community.  But, I was judged and found lacking before I had the chance to fly my colors.  If I am honest with friends and family, then it is easy to be honest with people who I don’t even know me.

As I move through what I do here at SexyWhispers, I know what I am doing.  My goal is clear.  I am here to set up a place where everyone, mostly women….yes, can discuss sex, sexuality, and female erotica.  That is why every now and then, I write a post in an erotic format.  It gets the same point across, but I get to enjoy my erotic voice in this form.

The things that I know are that I won’t:

  • Apologize for being the woman that I am. 
  • Smile for someone who is seeking to make themselves feel better at my expense. 
  • Let someone make me feel ashamed of what I believe or my passions.

As I close out the Thanksgiving holiday and start to look toward Christmas, I will only say that if you like what you see here, then welcome.  If you want to challenge me or question me, then you have my attention.  I love to be tested. If you don’t like what you see, comment or exercise your right to leave.  Thinking that my confidence can’t take the hit of people judging me or sharing their opinions of me as a person is a mistake.  Underestimate me if you want, but you will loose. 

SexyWhispers is not about me.  It is about every woman who steps into our group with the interest of understanding their own sexuality and sharing the efforts with women around them. 

If you are uncomfortable with what you see or read, then perhaps that is a sign that you are in the right place.  I know I am.  ~~Dee

14 thoughts on “Secret Life of Sex

  1. Good for you! If we don’t stand up for what we believe in, who will? I especially loved you assertion of not going to:

    “* Apologize for being the woman that I am.
    * Smile for someone who is seeking to make themselves feel better at my expense.
    * Let someone make me feel ashamed of what I believe or my passions.”

    Love it!

  2. Rock on sister. It breaks my heart that more women don’t feel like they can stand up and admit that they are sexual beings without fearing they will be diminished somehow by that assertion. Keep doing what you’re doing, I’m proud of you for it. I’m happy to be a part of this community you have created.

  3. Misty–I do agree. One day, I hope to be able to close the doors of the community that we have here because women will just accept that they are sexual. It will be as natural as using the internet! On that day, we will get together with margaritas and toast what we have done! And, I am glad you are apart of our group too!~~Dee

  4. Jen–Thank you so much. I strongly believe that we have to let ourselves be made victims…it is by consent. I wont all that and hope to help other women resist that same urge.~~Dee

  5. I’m glad you have the courage and strength to be upfront about your life. I’m sure the support you get helps a great deal. It took me 27 years to be ok with sex – a sheltered Catholic upbringing made me feel guilty and ashamed. I’m not looking back now, but I keep it under wraps. Glad you’re here!

  6. I think it wrong if you lose a client over your blog. If they don’t like it, they don’t have to look at it but it should, in no way, effect your business.

    I thought free speech was a part of the American culture?

  7. Medic–High words of praise from one I respect so much. Thank you. The Marine was Catholic and we were both raised in a Catholic state (La). Thank you for joining us because I am glad you’re here too!~~Dee

  8. Teri–I think it is too, but I would much rather a client tell me straight off that they have troubles than hedge. Honesty before modesty! Free speech and the right to leave! (smile) I am glad for those, like you, who stop by willingly. ~~Dee

  9. Since I’ve gone public with my full name on my first novel recently, I suppose I could have similar issues. Not that I care, the whole point about blogging is to be true to yourself.

  10. Brian–It is an issue that we must all make a decision on and take a stand. Mostly because the blogosphere is supposed to be a place where we all say what we think. Be prepared so you will know where you stand when the time is right. Good luck with your novel.~~Dee

  11. I believe that women are afraid of their sexuality. Too many have been raised that ‘good girls’ don’t, that it’s dirty and disgusting. The flip side of course is that the media portrays sex as fun and everyone does it ten times a day. What you do on this blog or in your life should not impact your business, but we all know that it does. Sex is another way of discriminating, an excuse to exclude people and pretend a superior way of thinking.

    Take your sexuality ladies and claim it for own. It’s your body, your mind, your soul and if you choose to give that gift to someone, man or woman, then do so in partnership and respect. No one has the right to tell you what to do with your body. No one!



  12. Rose–I do agree. There are the extremes and I am never sure which causes the other. Does society react by teaching women “dont” because the media is so extreme? Or, is the media so extreme because society goes the other way? I believe that one of the first things that people took pictures or movies was sexually oriented. Its a natural healthy part of our lives. And I could not have said it better myself…if you share your sexuality…respect yourself and the person you share it with! Very wise. Welcome!~~Dee

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