“The clearest definition of insanity is to do things the way you have always done them but expect different results.”
Consider this…What would you do if someone told you the truth? I know that sounds like an odd question. The truth hurts sometimes…yes, but what if it does not hurt? Not meant to hurt you because it is only a statement of fact.
Why do we ask to be lied to and then act upset when it happens?
I ask this question because we, women and men, spend so much time lying to each other it is a wonder to me that we communicate at all. As I don’t have a key to unlock the male mind, not possessing such equipment, I have to focus on the roles of women in the truth of sex and sexuality.
Here’s the scenario:
You are sitting in a bar talking with this guy. We can assume an adult beverage is present, you look incredibly hot, you are not PMS-ing, and you have really great shoes on! (HEY, it’s my scenario—I will make it up as I want!) He frankly confesses that he wants to have sex with you. What do you do?
- Throw a drink in his lap / slap his face.
- Walk out and leave him sitting there alone.
- Give him a verbal dressing down.
- Smile and tell him “of course you do, but you have to earn that pleasure” (if you are interested in him).
I have seen the top 3 happen hundreds of times. Women have told me that they feel disrespected, but my question hinges more on the root of the reaction. What about that simple statement of honesty makes us feel so angry or disrespected? Perhaps, it is because society teaches that a man only speaks about sex to a “certain type” of woman. It could be that we believe that this is the way that “good girls” react to a man who tells them this truth about sex.
Want to know what I believe? (Well, if not, then you are in the wrong place!)
I think that women react this way when men tell them they are sexually interested because they are too. When you confess something to a person, it can no longer be avoided as a topic of discussion. While men are accustomed to being the leaders, women are accustomed to deciding “when” and “if” sex becomes a possibility for the partnership. So, when a man fails to lie to us about his intentions, then we can not pretend that he is interested in our mind. But, lets not lie to ourselves…did you believe that he was only interested in your mind?
Here is my fairness question of the week: When you first saw his ass kicking body with those sexy eyes that could melt steel and a smile that made your female parts over react, were you thinking of how smart he is or about his great his personality? Uh huh…nope, guess not.
The point is that we are asking to be lied to about sex and we are clearly upset when it happens. Women have to start off on the basis of honesty about all things including sex and sexuality. Hearing a man say the words are not a sign that he is disrespecting you or womanhood. Just the opposite…it may be the highest sign of honor and respect by telling you the truth.
Stop the sexual insanity. Hear the words….internalize them….use them to make yourself stronger. After all, you have not given up control of your sexuality because someone shares their sexual desires with you. And, now that you know….you know you have him….(smile)…nuf said. ~~Dee