Sex Toys and Self Love

female erotica literotica sexI would love to say that I had the greatest insight into the best sex toys on the market.  While I do have access, I am often asked about what are the best sex toys by readers.  The reason that this is question is so hard (smile) is twofold.  First, what causes that sexual spark that we call an orgasm is as different for each woman as a finger print.  Second, there are tons of dud products on the market…many promoted in the most unlikely places imaginable.  For example, who can say they knew what a Rabbit was before Carrie Bradshaw introduced it on Sex and the City?  Then, overnight, everyone wanted a Rabbit.  As I have said before, advertising here is not my game, but I would be remiss if I tried to avoid what can be the most vital part of accepting sexuality and learning about the things that give sexual pleasure.

First, I have never been one to endorse breaking the law.  Never.  I am not a Saint, but I have no wish to incriminate myself.  I have had a few wild moments.  But one of my major soapboxes as a member of the erotic industry and a sexually aware woman is that the government, laws, and societies more have no place in the sexual lives of consenting adults.  Now, you are thinking…yes yes yes…we have heard this speech!  I know, but there are places in the USA that sex toys are against the law.  We really need to work to change that abomination now!

I mention this because what I do endorse is sexual exploration of our bodies.  Translation = masturbation, self love, and sex toys (with healthy and proper use!) are completely normal and natural in a sex positive environment. 

If you can’t locate your clit…welcome to the internet.  You don’t even have to ask someone.  Hit the net and find a good visual.  This is important and you don’t need to feel alone.  I know that was not apart of my high school “health” class.
If you feel guilty or ashamed at the thought of touching yourself, then it will pass.  Men have been practicing masturbation for years.  Many women masturbate.  Most will not admit that they touch themselves, but they do.  Most women start touching themselves as children in the bath or before bedtime without realizing what they are doing.  There is no shame or guilt to sexual exploration of your own body (or anyone else’s with their consent).
If you are lost in the world of sex toys, join the group!  There are tons of toys, lubs, and gels not to mention the truly big girl toys like sex swings, chairs, and masturbations machines (as if gasoline were not expensive enough!).  Don’t feel insecure if you don’t know a dildo from a vibrator!  But…commit to learning.


In the next few days, I will have a guest blogger with a feature called The Orgasm Factor on Sexywhispers.  The goal of The Orgasm Factor will be to give you honest sex toy reviews and give you the opportunity to ask the questions that are burning in your libido.  I will not write this blog posting because Allie is an expert with sex toys!  (Anyone jealous yet?)  Be on the lookout.  She is cum-ming.  ~~Dee


BTW…if you want to read previous Orgasm Factor reviews while you wait, please yourself! (wink)

7 thoughts on “Sex Toys and Self Love

  1. this topic reminds me of my guilty pleasure, “Real Sex” on HBO. they got down and dirty sometimes. but alas, I no longer have this channel. *sigh*

  2. Teri–I love the show! Ok…and CatHouse! Not guilty about it though…just lovin’ it. CatHouse is a strange thing for a woman to watch, but I love the fact that you dont get the poor little hooker thang there. They are strong women lovin’ sex and making a living with it.

    Colette–Welcome to our home! Sexy trips for sexy stores are awesome. You know, there are several sex shops that are women only or in the company of a woman shops. Its a home for women and sex. Go for it Girl!~~Dee

  3. What a great blog and an excellent topic! I was just reading an article earlier that indicated that researchers estimate 12 percent of women never reach a climax and 75 percent don’t orgasm during intercourse. I was pretty surprised by those stats.

    For some it’s a physical thing, but for others it’s either a psychological thing or a lack of knowledge. Articles like yours definitely help with the education aspect and perhaps some with the psychological issues. Nicely done 🙂

  4. Lady Julia….I quote….”To me, being a Domme means being able to very gently, very persuasively stroke his mind, stirring his wants and needs to such a frenzy that he is begging to give me exactly what I want and leaving him surprised to find that what I want is what he wants”….mmm…..You are welcome here. Again and again and again! (wink)

  5. Lady Julia…sorry, I am sooo easily distracted. (smile) I had heard these stats and it so made me want to cry. I can imagine that a woman goes through her entire sexual life without orgasm either with herself or partner.

    Thank you for the props and I depend on strong, sexually aware women like yourself to help me reach others with the news: sex is so good!~~Dee

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