One of the greatest things about this blog, for me, is that when people ask me questions, it challenges me to examine what I believe from another point of view. Teri, the lovely lady of http://familytreejunkie.blogspot.com, asked me “Do you think its way easier to feel more sexy when you’re in room of people who have that same vibe?” I smiled as I thought of it because it seemed like such an intelligent question and made me think of the reality of what she was asking. (See Teri, when I add you to the blogroll I get to chat about you!)
In short, I do think it is easier to feel sexy when you are surrounded by people who are accepting of their own sexuality…especially women. Generally, that is why I encourage women to reach out to women so often because, when I talk about sex, women feel like it is not a taboo subject and they will be accepted just as they are. They no longer hide their sexual soul. So much of what we do as women, from female erotica to sex toys sent in brown wrappers, is designed to help us keep our identity a secret.
For example, why do we hide:
- That we color our hair? Answer: Yes, honey brown (#63 I think).
- Our weight? Answer: 152 lbs on a good day
- Our sexual orientation? Answer: heterosexual by choice (yes, this is a choice too!)
- Our fetishes? Answer: Shoes and Leather
The point is that at an erotica party is that you are not covering up who you are because everyone in the room is carrying their own erotic preferences. Looking around, people where owning, in public with about 400 strangers, everything that they are sexually. No hiding…girls were not pulling at clothing to keep their tits or ass from showing. Guys were not trying to pretend that they were not looking at those assets. I danced with a woman for the first time (not in a group dance). I mean, really did the bump and grind with her. It’s all fun and very open.
A few things that I will suggestion:
- Know what you want to / will do before you are faced with the situation. If you don’t want to dance on the bar (might try that next year), then don’t. You don’t have to…no one is looking for you to fit in, so don’t try. Just be yourself.
- Feel comfortable enough with yourself sexually to let the night develop. If a girl comes up and wants to dirty dance with you and you have always wanted to give it a shot, then do it. If you have always wanted to try “suck and blow,” (ummm…in this case, that is a drinking game. You could get arrested to doing the real deed in public!) find a partner of choice and do it.
- Leave your judgments behind. Don’t judge your body or yourself. Don’t judge other people. Enjoy the time that you are there. Watch others and get into the play. Don’t dance? You do tonight! Get up and get out there.
- Safety first. Don’t drink more than you can handle because you feel exposed. Don’t have unprotected sex. Only do what you can live with in the morning. Because you should always be about to protecting yourself and your pleasure first.
One more thing—Get some friends together and go! A couple of girlfriends there will help you loosen up in an unfamiliar situation. Gives you dancing and drinking partners too. Same thing…what happens at the erotica party….stays at the erotica party!! ~~Dee