As with everything, I always endorse really knowing what turns your partner on. I don’t mean that your partner likes to do the dirty doggie style or that he has a back seat driver fantasy. Of course, these things are great to know about your partner, but, IMHO, this is where the passion breakdowns after the infatuation of being together have worn off. In order to remain in the red zone (yes yes….a football analogy. It is the zone before the goal line where the team has the opportunity to score), you really need to understand much more about your partner than just their surface level sexual shtick. You don’t need to know just what pushes his buttons. You want to know what makes his buttons stick in the fast forward position!
- Think of it this way: If someone can reach down into your deepest sexual soul and explore who you are at your sexual center, what would you be willing to give them in return? Everything. So…offer the apple. There is no great temptation that the ones we create ourselves.
- Remember one more thing: Your ultimate goal is your pleasure. Use his passion to provide yourself pleasure and it shows him that you are engaged in what you are doing. I recently heard a friend, after one too many adult beverages, confide in The Marine that he hated oral sex with his wife because she hated doing it. I thought….wow…it does not have to be like that!
So many women get lost at this point. The combination of these two ideas seems to be at odds in their minds. As women, we are taught to be sexually giving and “submissive” (I looked this word up earlier so I now know what it means!).
- Never do what does not feel good or acceptable to you. You can’t please another person if you are not happy yourself.
- Find his thing! I mean (refocusing)…find the thing that he is passionate about and find out how to transfer that passion to you. Watch him…he’s a man…it’s not hard to find. (Sorry…the sexual innuendo is all in my mind today!!!)
- Know what you want out of the effort. If it a great foot massage or new shoes, then go there. If it is your favorite position or creamy “service me, I am your Queen” oral sex…work it. But know your goal.
- Plan your attack…secretly. Naturally, you may need to gather a few things to get your initiative on the move. Put the effort into planning what you will need. Research your topic if you need to get into the red zone (refer above!).
- Practice Practice Practice. Try everything out and be familiar with how it works. You are the living sexy embodiment of that passion. Get ready.
Here is an application that I have used:
The Marine is an absolute LSU football fan. We plan to be home for the game every Saturday. For most people, this seems crazy, but he works 50 hours a week, gives me every cent he makes without complaints (he believes it should be this way because it his part to support his family), and does not prowl the bars with friends. It seems to me that one football game a week is not too much return for all of that. So he bleeds purple and gold every year! Ah….my red zone…now for the conversion.
The Goal: Incredible, hot sex. Yes…but my score is a little something extra: a great foot massage. It should be noted that The Marine believes that I have voodoo when it comes to LSU. In the entire times that I have known The Marine, I have only been wrong about LSU three times in 20 years.
- Now, I pull out my LSU jersey and find my sexy stilettos in black (need shoes that are easy to slip off—remember the goal—foot massage).
- Add fishnet stockings with peak-a-boo panties in pretty gold that show just enough cheek to be sexy.
- He goes into the living room to hit the sofa and start the game. He already has his jersey on with LSU shorts for an hour (part of his ritual).
- I go to the kitchen to make popcorn and get ready for my entrance. One note: food is strongly encouraged. Use all of the senses.
- When I walk into the room, there is enough time for a quickie. Not giving in. This does not suit my purpose.
“Want to talk about this?” he challenges, suggesting a little pregame action.
“Later….perhaps,” I smile as I set the popcorn and beer on the table in front of him. Of course, I have to bend over right in front of his face and I smile to myself as I feel his hand traveling over the garter on the back of my thigh. I turn with my pretty girl, too innocent smile and meet the sparkle in his eyes. “Have everything you want?” picking my words carefully as I face him. Marines have a thing about being challenged. Warrior attitude.
The game proceeds and we celebrate each score with various touching. His fingers are tracing the pattern in my fishnets. He undoes the hooks on my garters and starts to roll down the first stocking. I reach down and remove my shoes so he can slip off my stocking. Bare feet with perfect purple and gold polish. He smiles at me. It’s the details that matter. By half time, The Marine is working his way on the second stocking….unhooked and slowly rolling down my leg.
As his hands reach my feet, I make a small appreciative sound that catches his attention. “My feet hurt,” giving him an obvious verbal cue. Remember that he wants to please me at this point because it is in his best interest. “How about a foot massage?” he is smiling his “I’ll scratch your back if you scratch mine” look. How convenient…I happen to have my favorite crème sitting right there (remember our discussion about planning??). I reach over and empty some into his big strong hands as the scent tickles my senses and he spreads the crème between his hands.
He starts high on my thighs fascinated with the gold panties. His hands are working the crème into my thighs and massaging the muscles. I know I sighed at the incredible physical relaxation that starts to seep into my muscles as he moves slowly down my inner thigh to my knees, my calves, and, finally, my feet. At this time, I am starting to visualize his rewards for doing what I want….although….not before he finishes the foot massage.
One more final idea: If you are a lady that has troubles with painful breasts during certain times of the month, get him to use a nice creme to massage your breasts (softly, of course!). It is heaven!! And he will love feel of the creme on your breasts. ~~Dee