Over the weekend, my father had a heart attack. It has been an incredible week for me, but it has reminded me that I am lucky to have people around to step in at the right moment. Both The Marine and My Favorite Scorpio stepped up to add light to my life during the past few days. Plus, the methods of medicine have changed so much that it was amazing to watch the transformation of three complete heart blockages from a death sentence just a few years ago to the realization of a new life today.
I am further blessed to have two counselors as clients. Both of them said to me, “You know, as you are taking care of an ailing parent for the first time in your life, you are starting into a new life cycle. Take time for yourself and move into this cycle of your life deliberately.” I smiled to myself because I was wondering what I could do to fight it! But, I know what she meant. Now, our roles would reverse and I would become the parent. But, what I do notice is that being a parent for a child is usually a happy thing. Being a parent for your parent incurs certain acceptances that are unhappy. However, she encouraged me to think about my childhood (deeply disturbing) and one thing I do know for sure: I still don’t love that I was punished for coming in 15 minutes after curfew and, even after I sat in my room to think about why this was not a good thing, twenty years later I still don’t know!! But, I know what she means….so I am doing it.
I have a question. In SC, they don’t even call Halloween what it is because it is a pagan holiday. They call it Fall Festival. Kids don’t trick or treat because it is dangerous. So, they get together at schools or church parking lots to let kids walk from car to car bumming candy. It is so pathetic. I am completely hip to the threats that kids face in the world, but so did we….and it was not so long ago! Our parents participated in Halloween by decorating the yard (and not with those blow up dolls that are really large man toys!) with webs, witches, scarecrows, and spooky sounds. We walked through the neighborhood from house to house….one parent in tow….slowly venturing up to the front porch to knock on the door. AHHHH run…..as something jumped out of the bushes at you. Then we laughed ourselves sick as we talked about the cool candy we had gotten from this neighbor or that. It was a bonding time between friends and families that made the excitement electric.
In short, I know that there are many more scary things in the world than there used to be. But, it seems to me, that children are being robbed of the true essence of holidays, like Halloween, by being put in a sterile bubble. Children are allowed to watch movies like Saw or Hostile (I am such a whimp–both make me really ill to think about), but they can not run around with friends in crazy costumes to the innocent joy of “trick or treat!” Children are exposed to the news and realities of child molesters and kiddie porn for their own protection, but they can not use the word “Halloween” because it is a Satanic holiday. As I said in my post before, we love Halloween (in New Orleans—it is the second best holiday behind Mardi Gras!!). I cant help but feel an acute loss for them in a world facing real dangers that they are not allowed to relieve their fears with the laughter of fake dangers. Paradise lost indeed. ~~Dee
PS. The really sad part here: Every year, The Marine buys candy, dresses up, and waits for the “trick-or-treaters” that never show!