The Smell of Sexy

female erotica, literotica“Did you spill your cologne in the bathroom?”  The Marine stops to look at me.  He is playing with his new cell phone….it has videos and music….does all those important things that a phone needs to do!  His Gemini nature is engrossed in the buttons that light up, changing wallpapers, ringtones, and….

“No,” he goes back to playing with the phone.  Now, it should be noted that among people who talk way too much, we agree that ‘yes’ and ‘no’ are perfectly acceptable answers.  Sometimes, more words are not needed.  I walked back into our bathroom. 

I am standing in the middle of the room and I can smell it.  All over…surrounding me.  It’s sexy and strong.  I can feel it hit my bloodstream.  I have always been terrifically affected by smells.  The Marine wears a mixture of cologne and deodorant that make my eyes glaze over with pure passion.  It is literally shaking the cells of my body causing a vibration that is rattling my nerves.  It’s that soap!  I look at it a little suspiciously because I know it does not belong in my quiet place (the bathroom is my space—The Marine just rents!).  But, the smell is overwhelming….like fresh clean man and I wanted to rub it all over me. I pick it up and walk back into the bedroom.  Something is not right here….The Marine never changes his toiletries.  Twenty years…same soap, shampoo, and cologne.  He goes all commando if they don’t have his brand of Qtips (there seems to be a difference!).

“Did you buy this?” I asked, quite confused.

Looking up from the new toy, he focuses on what is in my hand, “Nope, your mom,” incredulous at the thought that he did not get the right soap.  “Remember on Saturday when she called to say she was going to Wal-Mart.  She asked if you needed anything and I told her Irish Spring soap.”  It is a largely known fact among the family and friends that I hate Wal-Mart.  Too many screaming kids running everywhere (if your kids are not like that, then please do not hit me because some are and they all seem to be wherever I am!) mixes with the constant feed of noise from announcements / commercials and too many choices on the shelf.  By the end of a one hour session in Wal-Mart, I need an adult beverage to calm my nerves!

As I looked at the new blue box that screamed “NEW! Irish Spring: Moisture Blast,” I had to laugh.  It is built for a woman.  Promising the amazing new technology of “Hydro Beads,” my mom innocently picked up the box and strolled off.  For all intents and purposes, it looks like a woman’s product with its bold statements of “Clean without That Dry Skin Feel!”  However, lurking in the banal blue box that reaches out to the male population in design and feel is deception in the making.  The packaging is all man, but the message on it is completely female.  The marketing dept gets points for doing its job.

What is disturbing to me, in this case, is not the marketing.  It’s the product development.  The smell is overwhelmingly male.  By this, I mean that it reminds me of what a man smells like when he is fresh out of the shower, body hot from the water with soap fresh on his skin.  And, not just a little, but in an amplified, overpowering way like chocolate that has been warmed to make it gooey.  Maybe if the new soap is meant for women…making it smell like a sexy man might just work.

When I called my mom to ask her why she had gotten the wrong soap (she knows what soap he likes—we packed boxes for him and sent them to Iraq), she laughed and said she loved the smell of it…don’t tell The Marine.  Maybe he won’t notice.  Maybe not, but I did! She did.  Maybe that is just the point.  ~~Dee

BTW…this is not an ad, so please do not send me requests for product reviews.  I am just one confused women trying to figure out the world!

12 thoughts on “The Smell of Sexy

  1. Maybe they’re trying to appeal to metrosexuals. I think guys these days like their skin to feel soft. I know a lot of men that use body wash instead of soap for just that reason.

    No matter; at least The Marine smells yummy!

  2. Princess–Yes, Wal-Mart is my verison of hell on earth. My eyes glaze over and I completely forget what I came in for…all the while, I stand in front of the shelves like a veggie. Then, I hear it…in the background…..”You have just entered the Twilight Zone!”

    Finn…he does smell yummy. I am considering using it myself. That way, I can have that smell around all the time. BUT, we will keep the whole metro-male thang from him for now. He saw a male moisturizer the other day and I thought he was gonna have a identity crisis!~~Dee

  3. Okay… here is your “Saved by Cinnkitty” tip of the day.

    When I go to Wal-Mart… I clip my adorable little iPod Shuffle on (it’s Pink and is named “Mr. Pinky Shuffleupagus!), pop the earbuds in and proceed to blast my favorite “Angry Man Music” or “Transformers” soundtrack or “Queen of the Damned” soundtrack and full volume.

    You’ll see me bee-bopping down the aisles. Lips mouthing the words, head nodding, hips swiveling, toes tapping and whole body involved in the tunes!

    That way, I get to save money (it IS cheaper at the Wallie World) AND I don’t get the “slit my wrists” feeling because I simply tune out the world and exist within the music. 🙂


    p.s. Irish Spring has been the “man’s man” soap since as long as my estrogen put me into high drive! And I LOVE the liquid Irish Spring even more than the bar! The scent lasts even longer. Yum! Yum!

    p.p.s. — obviously.. I’m am also an extremely “olfactory” kind of girl. But it goes both ways. Yummy smell — goooooood….
    Icky smell — very, very baaaaaad!

  4. Being in Wal-Mart makes me want to slit my wrists. It is my own personal hell.


    That’s how Mrs. Edge knows I love her – when I’ll offer to stop there to pick something up for her.

    Maybe it’s just really bad feng shui?

  5. Tom,

    I dont know if it is my epilepsy or I am “sensitive,” but being around all of those people with all of the sensory input is a touch overwhelming for me. I can go to a rock concert, hockey game, or, even an appointment with the doctor with better feelings. I am all about Feng Shui, but I think they need less commercialism and more humanism.~~Dee

  6. Teri…welcome! I have started to notice that there must be lots of testing of male products going on lately because…more and more…I have started to feel my sense pick up on those scents. Women have been laying scents for years. I guess….mens product lines have started to catch up. Please feel free to join our group!~~Dee

  7. Jen…oh yes…me too. I wonder if the companies who make mens products are realizing this and starting to aim them at women. After all, a man shaving with a half naked girl on his arm attracts men, but packing a product so it appeals to women–even though it is a mans product–women do the shopping in most households. Welcome back!~~Dee

  8. Hmmm….hang on a minute (or as Eddie Izzard would say in German) “En Minute Bitten” ha..ha.ha…

    I *wan’t* to say you my dearest Dee. But saving those little inbreed, heathen children in the store running around like their hair is on fire and the crabs are causing them to itch?? THAT is a whole ‘noter thing. I have *no* desire to save THEM! ha…ha.ha… Natural Selection needs to make a comeback. 😉

    OH…and the love is mutual dear…very mutual indeed!!!

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