Coming Out of the Sexual Closet

Sometimes, my closet is a great place to be.  My high heel shoes are there.  All of my favorite lingerie is there.  Most of my favorite toys, including my stash of female erotica (call it porn if you like!), are in my closet.  It’s not hiding.  All of those things like it there in the warm, snug space of their own. One day, my dream is to have a closet the size of my master bedroom so I can stand there in the middle of my sexy little room full of things that belong to me…owned by my sexuality…and enjoy the collection.

For many people, the thought of a closet being someplace sinister and scary goes back to co-habitating with their three year old pre-neurotic monsters.  Not me.  I always loved my closet.  I would go in my closet, shut the door, and sit on the floor to play with my dolls in whatever world I built for myself.  Why?  Because I could easily control the world within those four walls.  So it is now.  My closet is a space just for me…crammed as it is….with things that I like.  Once, my hubby was allowed in there to build more cubbies for my shoes…but not since.  It’s an unwritten law about me……privacy = closet.  He respects that and I don’t go through his wallet (or top dresser drawer—what is up with men and the junk they keep in their top dresser drawer anyways?!?). 

Anyways, so I am completely hip to the privacy issues and generally VERY discrete in what I put on the blog.  I want women to feel comfortable with their sexuality.  My goal is never to push anyone out of the sexual closet, but late late last night….I tripped over that.  See, I went on a spree of adding social markers to my blog so that people could track postings easier and participate in whatever form was easiest.  I have been using MyBlogLog (did Yahoo screw that pooch or what??), so I included their widget in the blog so people could join my community there.  All of the sudden, I saw the faces of the people who I had never met but had been reading the blog.  I felt terrible.  I know I know…everyone else is doing it.  But, I don’t make my decisions based on that.  I run a sex blog (walks the line on porn if I am having a good day) and these people had not commented on the blog.  They had not self identified themselves and stepped out of the sexual closet.  In my mind, it was like sending someone a copy of Playgirl or a vibrator through the mail without the “plain brown wrapper.”  I removed it as quickly as possible because it seemed like such an invasion of privacy.

When I told Tamara, she said….”yes dear, but they have been reading the BlogLog!”  True enough, but that is why people play behind closed doors or behind the privacy of an internet connection.  They get to decide when they step out of the sexual closet.  No one should push them out.  So, for me and sexywhispers, there will not be an intrusive cataloging system that indiscriminately shows readership.  Love and kisses to all those who step forward to leave comments.  I enjoy chatting with each of you!  And, I hope….one day, the others will join us.  But until then, they get to enjoy their closet just as much as I do!~~Dee

One thought on “Coming Out of the Sexual Closet

  1. My delightful Dee,

    Your respect for the privacy of your readers is most admirable and greatly appreciated.

    A tiny little voice whispers in the back of my head, however, that says….

    “A person must sign up for MyBlogLog. They must upload their profile, their photo and ultimately they must click on your link to see your site. If they have not realized by the mere title of your site, that it contains sexual and erotic content, then they need to rethink their presence on the world wide web.”

    I am a strong supporter of personal responsibility. All the same…. I think it is a kind and thoughtful thing that you have done, by choosing not to participate in that feature because you care about the anonymity of your readers.

    You, my darling Dee… are an absolutely lovely woman.

    Thank you for being here and enriching our lives.

    Passionately yours,

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