Women, Sex, and Sports

Female EroticaOn Saturday, I found myself sitting in a local bar watching the college football game.  I purposely went over to the other side of the bar where no one is sitting and I had a great view of the plasma screen TV.  Sometimes, I stroll into this bar to watch the game because it is great to be among the energy of people pulling for their team.  I chat with the bartender a little and order a rum/coke.  First score of the game…the crowd erupts…and I finish my drink.  I love to watch people just doing what they do.  One guy is chatting up the bartender (good luck buddy!), another guy is trying hard to look at his girlfriend rather than the screen (wrong place, wrong time!), and several guys at the end grunting time honored chants of DEFENSE, DEFENSE.  And, I love it.

Sports, primarily hockey and football, are my erotica.  I notice that it is rare, in female erotica or Literotica, that the hero is a sports star.  Perhaps it is too cliché to make the focus of female erotica a cocky football star.  Perhaps, for women, it brings to mind silly cheerleaders in short skirts that don’t particularly represent female sexuality or the female experience at all.  However, I have to give credit where it is due…Pam Britton writes a successful series of NASCAR inspired romance novels.  Although neither NASCAR nor generic romance novels are quite my suit (I did offer at the end of last year to interview Pam Britton  and she stated that she thought we were too racy for her), I think that the theme reaches out to the acceptance that some women love sports

I mean sweaty, built, conditioned guys in tight pants fighting for the ultimate orgasmic prize to score. Single minded, passionate focus like that is a beautiful thing!

Where was I?  Oh yes, sorry…sports.  So, I am sitting there enjoying the game, the crowd, and my drink when Joe Cool strolls up and asked if the seat next to me is taken.  I look down the bar where there are about 10 open seats and give him a break.  Go ahead….sit down.  Now, the number one rule of watching “THE GAME” is don’t talk to me, outside of a few comments about the parentage of the coach when he does not go for the first down on 4th and short.  If I would have wanted conversation, then I would have hit the coffee bar or the local church social down the street.  Generally, men understand this unwritten law very well.  But this guy….nope, he wanted to chat.  I smile politely as he gives me the usual pick up lines.  Watching the game….score…..yes!  High fives heard around the room.  Can he buy me a drink?  No thanks…Cheryl (the bartender) has me covered.  Now really, I am usually very kind to guys in these situations because I think it takes a whole lots of courage to come over and give it a shot, but he would not leave and he would not let me watch the game.  My favorite Scorpio says, “Never say maybe…people do not understand maybe!”

Finally, I turn to Joe Cool and politely tell him that all I am only interested in enjoying my drink while I watch the football game.  His reply:  “Come on, you know that women are only ever interested in sport when they are trying to impress a man!”  Cheryl strolls over with my drink in time to hear this profession of womanly virtues and she stands back against the edge of the bar to watch the fireworks.  I picked up my rum/coke and downed it in one drink….turning glass end up on the napkin on bar.  Cheryl knows this is my custom when I have finished for the night and she runs my tab at the register closest to me.  After I sign the check, I look at Joe Cool with my Barbie smile….laced with a little “come here” sex….and lean close to him.  Wow….this guy could use a shower….always attractive.

I tell him that I am going to be honest with him.  I point to a guy across the room playing pool with a group….looking real confident and sexy as he strides around the table…practiced in handling his cue (pun intended!).  I inform Joe Cool that I am going to take that man home with me tonight….I have been watching him all night long.  And, although I have not asked him, if I don’t leave with him, then he can not only buy me a drink, but take me home.  A smile spreads over his face because he knows that he has hit the jackpot.  A smile is on Cheryl’s face because she knows the guy shooting pool is going home with me!

I stroll over to the guy shooting pool using my best “get a man” walk, lean over the table where he is shooting (giving everyone a good boob shot), and smile at him.  He smiles back because he knows the game.  I walk slowly around the table and whisper something delicious in his ear about how I cant wait another minute for him and I want to leave with him now.  He smiles smugly, puts his cue on the table, and waves to the guys with “Ladies First.”  They chuckle as he leaves with me and I flip a wink to Joe Cool who does not have that smile anymore.

As we walk out wrapped around each other, my husband says, “I thought you wanted to watch the game.”  I did….but it was a mercy killing.  The away team never had a chance! 

And they say women dont understand sports!~~Dee

5 thoughts on “Women, Sex, and Sports

  1. ROFLMAO!!!! Oh that was priceless!! Absolutely fabulous Dee.

    Yeesh…… what a perfect example of the knuckle dragging ass monkeys I have been meeting since my divorce.

    Sadly, I do not have a hot honey that I could pull such a GREAT exit with and I’m not about to pick up a random stranger for the purpose.

    However, I do have a brain full of NFL facts, scores, statistics and random knowledge. Turns out.. I’m a HUGE NFL fan and do serious in-depth research each week for my Fantasy Football team that I run in the ESPN league. 🙂

    As the only girl in a 10 “man” league, I’ve been making it a point to do my best. Currently ranked 3rd, thank you very much Mr. Knuckle Dragger.

    Ha..ha.ha… Gosh Dee.. you are the best! 😉

    Thanks for sharing this with us.

  2. Oh shoot.. I got so wrapped in football I forgot to tell you: Janet Evanovich has started writing a new series that involves NASCAR and it just cracks me up!

    For the longest time, the “Supernatural” novels have been flying off the shelves like Chocolate on a PMS day, but now… I’m definitely seeing a trend away from that and more towards “Sports” related romance/thrillers.

    How cool is that? I’ve detested all the vampire/werewolf, etc…. stuff. It’s so…sooo…cliche’.. and almost NEVER has a strong female character than can “resist” the lure and charms of the male – unless she’s had a metal plate put in her head or some silly thing like that.

    But with the Evanovich Alex Barnaby series “Metro Girl” & “Motor Mouth” she’s developed a great female character who is almost always resisting the charming male lead AND saving his butt. 🙂

    Alex is in full control of her sexuality and I LOVE the inner dialog you see going on when she’s debating the merits of hooking up with the male lead because SHE’s horny… ha..ha.ha…


  3. My darling Kitty….I applaud your efforts to be the best at whatever you are doing (I bet it does not take much for you to be the best though!).

    I have long held that hockey is completely a womans sport, but the sponsors are not seeing us as viable consumers. So, they dont market to us! I would so love to see more erotic materials based in the world of sports because that would give women the recognition that they deserve.

    I have a poster of Danica Patrick on my wall. Its the Secret ad that she did. It says, “My Secret is: Deep down, I am a girly girl.” She is standing in a beautiful dress with her high heel on her racing helmet. Its due to women like her, and you, that dont backdown in a male dominated areana….they play to win! Kisses to you for that!

    “I am woman…hear me roar” (dancing aorund singing Helen Reddy)~~Dee

  4. Girl I love this post. I too am a sports chick. Of the “please don’t speak to me, the game is on” variety. Also because I had a rather eager man approaching me today and after politely telling him I wasn’t interested several times I finally got to a point where I had to hit him over the head. Told him I was a lesbian. (Even though I’m actually bi). Even then he didn’t get it.

  5. Problem with that approach…he would have thought you were a challenge for being a lesbian (if it were true!)….after all, he could have converted you right???? (giggling) Sometimes, they are quite clueless. When my favorite Scorpio gets all male on me (cause he knows it works my nerves), I tell him that men are obviously the weaker sex….because if they could do better….God would have made them women!~~Dee

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