Yesterday was my mom’s birthday and I spent it with her. We have always been great friends and she is completely the woman that I admire most in the world because she taught me so much about being a woman. Granted, most women teach their children how to be a human being. They might even go so far as to teach them how to be male or female, but not my mom. She realized early on that there were lessons that I would need about being a woman to be successful in my life, in my marriage, and in myself. She knew from her experience with her mother, who was very limited and controlling, that I had to have a freer sense of self to look in the mirror.
With this in mind, I would like to share, in her dedication and as a way to say thank you to her, these lessons she gave me:
- Hold your head high and look people in eyes.
- Love yourself or no one else will (except my mamma).
- Fear should not stop you…just make you consider.
- When you are weakest, find strength in who you are.
- Know what you believe and why.
- Never let someone make you feel ashamed.
- Try the world or else you will never know what you want.
- Accept people as who they are….they have as much right to be themselves as you do.
- Care for others beyond yourself.
- Don’t let anyone keep you from what you must do.
- Be responsible for the consequences of your actions.
- Sex is not a four letter word.
- At least once in your life, love someone with a passion that is painful.
- Trust yourself to be an example
- Three things should always be said when the time is right—please/thank you, I am sorry, and I love you.
This is a woman who supported two kids by herself after a divorce from an abusive man in the early 70s when her Preachers advice was to “try harder” to make her marriage work. She was the first woman to work in a chemical plant in Texas (I still have the newspaper article hanging on my wall). My mother taught me that being a woman did not mean weakness. It, instead, was a powerful gift handed down from God to each woman to give to her daughter.
As I think of my mother, I have walked so much further into the world than she did. I have experienced so much more of sexuality and sex than she experienced. She has seen the blog, piercings, and tattoo with the smile of a proud woman. But, what I know is that it was all possible because on the first day she saw my face and every day since, she has never backed down from being an incredible woman. She cleared the path for me and, then, turned to hold out her hand. I love my mother and I will be blessed everyday to be just like her.
When my husband is told that women grow up to be their mothers, he smiles and says that he hopes so……yes yes….Me too! ~~Dee