Posted by: sexywhispers | December 2, 2009

Gentlemen Only Ladies Forbidden (GOLF): The Tiger Woods Icon

sexuality, sex blogs, sex , erotica female, eroticaIt’s rare that I am surprised by sexual antics and adultery.  After all, I am a big girl…been around the block in high heels a few times.  I consider myself quite comfortable with all topics surrounding sex and sexuality.  However, with all naivety aside, I must admit that I was truly disappointed to find out that Tiger Woods had cheated on his wife.

I know, the stats say that adultery happens more times a day than you can shake a golf club at, but there was something deeper in the realization that Tiger Woods, all American golfer, father, and husband would cheat on his wife.  Some have suggested to me that this strikes deeply at me because it means that no one is immune.

Well….duh!  Of course, as many times over as partners promise to “love, honor, and cherish until death due” them part; there are divorces for a reason. 

I think it is more significant than that.  As a role model…perhaps a role model for all of the world to look up to with admiration of being a loyal spouse, it is hard to understand the disappointment in finding out that he would drop pants at the first available dyed natural blonde that crossed his path…and the second…and the next.

Perhaps it was My Favorite Scorpio that taught me the deeper lesson in martial fidelity when I asked him pointedly if he would ever cheat on his wife during a discussion of a friend who was divorcing due to an affair.

“I don’t know.  I have never been in that position to make that decision,” he replied, focused on the disbelief on my face as he continued.  “When you take the possibility of a situation out of probability, then you are open to it when it blindsides you.  After all, you don’t get a flu shot because you don’t think you will get the flu.  You get a flu shot because you believe in all earnestness that it is possible to contract the virus right?”

I had to study that logic for a few minutes because, in its simplicity, it made perfect sense.  We guard against things happening to use by preparing for the day they do, but we deny the possibility to adultery assuming that all people have our best interests at heart. 

In my marriage of 21 years (almost—thank you very much…I get to round up now!), we started off with an understanding of the consequences of adultery.   We agreed that no reason is good enough, no explanations are acceptable or needed, and no forgiveness can be expected.  With one act, you trade everything else because there is no road back for us.

Huh…now there is a novel though…setting expectations with a clear understanding of the value of an action.  It might seem like an odd thing to do in the first weeks of a marriage, but we took the flu shot to keep from experiencing the sickness.  ~~Dee


Responses

  1. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve revised my ideas about this. I know several couples – older in age – in which one of the partners just lost interest, from age, disease, medications. The other partners, after a period of begging, pleading, counseling, or whatever, have decided that they would deal with the issue by finding discreet lovers.

    This is a completely different issue than Tiger, of course, but I think that it’s worth mentioning that the conditions and circumstances can vary.

    • Tom,

      My gentle voice of intelligence and reason. While I do agree that both parties making a decision to keep a marriage while being sexually active with others is acceptable, it is just like swinging or any other sexual pursuit…a choice that both agree to make. If my hubby were given to illness and not able to be sexually active with me, understood…my love for him is paramount and first. BUT…someone did not agree here…hence, the use of golf clubs in a non-golfing situation. :)

      He is just lucky she did not aim for his balls! ~~Dee

  2. I think your Scorpio is right on. And I believe I did the same as you did when I got together with my husband. While I completely understand how someone might get into that situation, I know for sure it would be the end of my life as I now know it. That makes it a decision, not something that just “happened.”

    • Finn–Without doubt, setting those expectations and the understand that “sorry dont cover this” makes all of the decision directly related to a choice…instead of it just happening! Rain just happens….a large guy can surely say no a that women and physically fight her off if necessary! ~~Dee

  3. “We agreed that no reason is good enough, no explanations are acceptable or needed, and no forgiveness can be expected. With one act, you trade everything else because there is no road back for us.” Loved this. I think that explicit expectations and reality checks of what will actually happen as a consequence is always a good thing to know. Good for you guys for sticking to it and making it work. 21 years, wow!

  4. i don’t understand the risk …. one piece of ass (or eight) being worth everything you have worked for your entire life … and he has … remember when he was on that’s incredible as a child? … the other thing that frustrates me is that it is on the news non stop … i just don’t care anymore … let him live his life already

  5. That’s quite a point there – to stop hiding from a possibility and face it instead. In the end we are just humans – weak and imperfect, it doesn’t mean we should surrender to any sexual desire, it means being prepared to stop yourself when it comes to it.

  6. I’ve always felt that someone cheating on me is one of the most disrespectful acts they could take.

    It disrespects the relationship, the love, the commitment, the flesh, the mind and…and…well, you get the point.

    Why would I want to be with someone who disrespects me? Answer — I don’t.

  7. Haven’t heard a peep out of you for a while now. Just wanted to let you know your voice is missed and that I hope all is ok with you.

    • Ahhh….my sexy love, I have missed you all so much. I started a second business, based on empowering women…and I been off starting groups to get women to support each other in person. Soon…I have to come back here bc my heart is here.

  8. Let see, Billionaire, Cute as heck, built, hundredths of ladies begging you to be with them, and when you become human, and slip, we are all upset with you… Mmmm… sorry, I can’t do it… If he didn’t slip, I would applaud him. But when he did slip, OK.. He was human before the rich and fame… Sometimes we have to put ourselves in their shoes. What if ever opportunity, men were always pressing up against you. Throwing themselves at your feet. I sure now and then, would be no big deal, but every time you look around… Now tht puts a new perspective on things. A sinner is a person who falls from Gods grace. Put if he ask God for forgiveness, God will take him back, no matter how many times he slips and fall, just as long as he ask for forgiveness each time… But we seem to put ourselves about God, when someone slips and disappoints us…

  9. 1–I think it was alittle like finding out Santa did not exist. Is he human? Yeah. Should he have acted like a dog in heat and took down every girl in his path….no. Being rich and cute does not mean you get forgiveness in the public eye for acting like a man-whore. If it were a women who acted such….she would never have another sponsor again. Double standard that is only reinforced by the wife! Sorry, finding out a man has cheated 10 times is not a slip…its is a lifestyle! ~~Dee


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