Freedom means many things to many people.  But, it always means the ability to go where your heart guides you.  I find it facinating that in America, where we guard your right to freedom so strongly, we fight against those who simplyly want the same freedoms. 

The right to follow your sexual identity is not a freedom given by man; therefore, it can not be revolked or legislated by man.  Sexuality is a God-given right of every living being.  It is perhaps the MOST intuitive and internal right we are born with and live with all of our lives.

It surpasses our eye color, our name, our profession, and our finanical status.  It is something we carry around with us everyday just as we do the right to breathe…yet we would deny that right to others. 

Here, in America, this country that I love with all my heart and have given years of service, it pains me to see people so moralistically judgmental about sexuality that they damn those who sexually have a different eye color than they do.  We can do better than that!

Home of the Free, Land of the Brave…Happy Independance Day America.  Let us remember that freedom applies to every person on the planet.

Mike was going to be married to Karen so his Father sat him down for a little chat.

He said, “Mike, let me tell you something. On my wedding night in our honeymoon suite. I took off my pants, handed them to your Mother, and said, “Here, try these on.”

She did and said, “These are too big. I can’t wear  them.”

I replied, “Exactly.. I wear the pants in this family and I always will.”  “Ever since that night, we have never had any  problems.”

“Hmmm,” said Mike.

He thought that might be a good thing to try.

On his honeymoon, Mike took off his pants and said to Karen, “Here, try these on…”

She tried them on and said, “These are too large.  They don’t fit me.” 

Mike said, “Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will. I don’t want you to ever forget that.”

Then Karen took off her panties and handed them to  Mike.

She said, “Here, you try on mine.”

Mike did and said, “I can’t get into your panties.”

Karen said, “Exactly. And if you don’t change your smart-ass attitude, you never will.”

“If three’s a crowd, we don’t even want to know what four is!”

As a professional marketer (means that is how I make a living!), I know that the first rule of marketing is ALWAYS “never offend your audience.”  Although the old cliche says “there is not such thing as bad PR,” it only takes one small mistake to turn a trendy ad into a poisonous personal plight by an audience. 

Take, for example, the ongoing fight by a “well-meaning” audience to get David Letterman pulled off of the air.  Granted, these are people who could not drag their carcuss out of the house to go vote for President, but David Letterman insinuated in a joke that it was acceptable for a grown man to rape a 14 year old girl.

Now, realistically, does anyone who has taken their medications for the day really believe that David Letterman believes that it is acceptable for a man to rape a teenage girl?  No!  Was the joke in bad taste?  Yes!  But, again, realistically, most of David Letterman’s jokes are in bad taste.

I won’t even discuss the Sarah Palin, media whore, fevered mob mentality about the joke, but I will say that an audience can turn on a company in a heartbeat.  Never is this more true than with sexuality in the United States. 

 It seems there is big stir about this new Calvin Klein billboard:

 Now, I personally think that the ad is a beuatiful celebration of sexuality.  As a marketer, however, I can appreciate something more in this Calvin Klein ad.  This ad is literally the expression of every form of sexuality including:

• solo sex, twosomes, threesomes, and foursomes
• voyeurism, masturabation, and exhibitionism
• homosexuality, heterosexuality, and bisexuality

What makes it sexy is that everyone in the ad looks so accepting of their sexuality and comfortable in their own skin.  Oh, if only life inimitated art!

As  a marketer, I can appreciate that Calvin Klein, in one ad, did what I have come to expect from Calvin Klein.  They made jeans sexy to everyone on the planet!  ~~Dee

If all of the eight desserts listed below were sitting in front of you, which would you choose (sorry, you can only pick one)! Trust me…this is very accurate. Pick your dessert, and then look to see what psychiatrists think about you.
 
REMEMBER – No Cheating. Make your choice before you check the meaning.
 
——————–

Here are your choices:

• Angel Food Cake
• Brownies
• Lemon Meringue Pie
• Vanilla Cake With Chocolate Icing
• Strawberry Short Cake
• Chocolate Cake With Chocolate Icing
• Ice Cream
• Carrot Cake

——————–
 
No, you can’t change your mind once you scroll down, so think carefully about what your choice will be.
 
OK – Now that you’ve made your choice, this is what the researchers say about you… SCROLL DOWN—No Cheating! 

• ANGEL FOOD CAKE — Sweet, loving, cuddly. You love all warm and fuzzyitems A little nutty at times. Sometimes you need an ice cream cone at the end of the day. Others perceive you as being childlike and immature at times. 
• BROWNIES — You are adventurous, love new ideas, and are a champion of underdogs and a slayer of dragons. When tempers flare up you whip out your saber. You are always the oddball with a unique sense of humor and direction. You tend to be very loyal. 
• LEMON MERINGUE — Smooth, sexy, & articulate with your hands, you are an excellent caregiver and a good teacher. but don’t try to walk and chew gum at the same time. A bit of a diva at times, you set your own style because you do your own thing. You shine when it comes to helping others and have many friends.
• VANILLA CAKE WITH CHOCOLATE ICING — Fun-loving, sassy, humorous, not very grounded in life; very indecisive and lacking motivation. Everyone enjoys being around you, but you are a practical joker. Others should be cautious in making you mad. However, you are a friend for life. 
• STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE — Romantic, warm, loving You care about other people, can be counted on in a pinch and expect the same in return. Intuitively keen. You can be very emotional at times but a true person in every way You like to do things for yourself and help others learn about themselves. 
• CHOCOLATE CAKE WITH CHOCOLATE ICING — Sexy; always ready to give and receive. Very creative, adventurous, ambitious, and passionate. You can appear to have a cold exterior but are warm on the inside. Not afraid to take chances. Will not settle for anything average in life Love to laugh. 
• ICE CREAM — You like sports, whether it be baseball, football,basketball, or soccer. If you could, you would like to participate, but you enjoy watching sports. You don’t like to give up the remote control. You tend to be self-centered and high maintenance. 
• CARROT CAKE — You are a very fun loving person, who likes to laugh. You are fun to be with. People like to hang out with you. You are a very warm hearted person and a little quirky at times. You have many loyal friends. You were meant to lead and teach others. A wonderful role model.

Now take the Dessert Personality Quiz and let us know where you fall!  ~~Dee

PS….I am all about the Chocolate Cake With Chocolate Icing!  No big surprises there.

Over my travels in the last three weeks, I have been three times intuitively drawn to phenomenal women.  The Marine always asks me, “how does this happen to you?  You can pick one woman out of a crowd of thousands.”

In fact, it is more than just luck.  In a very real way, my heart reaches out to women who have a need or connection to make other women stronger.

• Is it because we have experienced the pain of weakness in our own lives?
• Is it because we have been a victim and out of control of our situation?
• Is it because we have been without the real friendship of empowering women in our lives?

The simple answer is “yes.” 

As I learned about each woman and her life experiences, my heart grew from knowing her briefly…for a moment…and I was proud that our paths had crossed.

In each case, we drank together and The Marine made sure all the ladies got home safely after hours of partying and talking about sexual fantasies, fetishes, and freedoms.  We shared life events and laughed ourselves to tears—and parted way too soon.

A brief message to each:

• To my Jewish Momma in Dallas, keep your nipples up girl!  Love that man and go out there to kick ass every time you can.   You are an inspiration of what I want to grow up to be.
• To Miss T in Hilton Head, you were a pleasure.  Commit to yourself with your heart and soul.  You are so worth the investment and you can have whatever you want.  Trust yourself.
• To my Legal Lady, meeting you has expanded my life.  “I really really like you.  Stay you.”  I hope those words mean as much to you as they do to me.

Thank you for the gift of you….it is a blessing.  ~~Dee

A few days ago, The Marine and I celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary.  Most people grin at us with astonishment and comment that we do not look like we have been married 20 years.  I hear this so often it is amusing now.

What is truly ironic is the way we celebrated our 20th anniversary.  You see, in early February, The Marine was laid off from his job of over 14 years. 

While this is not what we would like to happen, we know we are really blessed, so we count our blessings instead of our curses.

A friend of mine always says, “Everything will be ok in the end.  And, if it is not ok, then it is not the end!”  I agree with her.

But, as The Marine was summons to the Unemployment office on the morning of our anniversary, I was a little ill at the true incompetency that kept him there for four hours repeating information entered into record two short months before.  At the desk, the receptionist was one of the rudest human beings on the earth.  Of course, knowing that it was our anniversary that day, we tried to get this matter taken care of the day before when he received the notice only to be told that we were 15 minutes too late for that day even though they did not close for another hour. 

The rude receptionist said with a smile, “Go home, get a good night’s sleep, and come back in the morning.”  Moron.  The irony was not lost on me that the economy would keep this “civil servant” (how funny is that term?) in a job for a long time!

As I grew angrier at their degrading tone and bureaucratic bullshit, I watched them treat the most incredible person in the world with enough disrespect to warrant a swift slap to the back of the head in true V8 style.  In the same breath I realize what the lesson was for me in spending the morning of my anniversary in the Unemployment office with The Marine.

It was that, after 20 years, the “for better or worse” portion of our wedding vows still meant that in the worst of times, together we were still better.  After 20 years of marriage, we still have each other’s back enough to follow each other into pain, sorrow, and unhappiness knowing that the comfort of two cuts it in half. 

In truth, he did not want me to go with him, but like when he went to the hospital with me during the breast cancer issues…‘in sickness and in health”…I was as proud to stand by him that day as I was 20 years before. 

The good times are easy and that day, I can say I was truly blessed.  ~~Dee

Over the years, I have lived my life as non-judgmentally as possible.  I extend the right to breath and make bad decisions past myself to everyone who exists on the planet.  As I grew up in an abusive environment as a child, the evils that people inflict upon one another, often in the name of love, is not new to my understanding of the world and how it operates.  I have stated with my own brand of matter-of-fact that “I don’t particularly like human beings.”  I would love to say, “It’s not personal,” but in truth, it really is personal.  Deeply…intuitively personal—some people are not fit to take up air on this planet.

If that sounds judgmental…fine.  One of my favorite mottos is “judge me all you want, just keep your damn opinions to yourself.”

Two incidents come to mind from this week alone:

• A jackass driving down the road throwing kittens out his car window in front of oncoming traffic.  To the bastard driving down Dale-Maybury in Tampa on Monday throwing live kittens out the window of his car into oncoming traffic, please contact me.  There are several people who want to meet you for an intervention about your attitude. 
• A friend that I have not seen in a few months getting teary as he showed me pictures of his beautiful new grandson…his first…as he spoke of it being the joy of his life with great sadness.  After we parted, someone whispered to me that the baby was saved when his daughter, who was 8 months pregnant, was doused with gasoline and set on fire by the father of the baby.  She is barely alive.

So, here is what I propose:  We start a nomination for Scumbag Island.  That means that when you do something that so offends the qualities of being a human being worthy of living among the rest of us without the fear from your insecurities and hatreds, we get to ship your worthless ass to someplace exceptionally hot or cold without food, drink, or members of the opposite sex.

Translation = Spending some time as the victim of another human predator might adjust your attitude.  Or, when prey gives in to predator, then we won’t have to worry about another waste of flesh.  Talk about saving natural resources!

At another point, a close friend explained the concepts of Christianity and forgiveness as I listened carefully with interest in the perversion of the argument.  When she finished, I asked her if she would have the same forgiveness for someone who had molested one of her two daughters. 

“I hope so,” she replied with a smile. 

She was so genuine it was hard to fault her blurry lack of reality.

“I hope you would castrate him in the street with a rusty butter knife,” I smiled back into her astonished face.

My message:  To the owner of the grey Honda Accord with license plate JCK136 that is flashing the Amber alerts on the signs in Georgia about the child you have abducted, I hope hell is a very hot place for you.  I believe that the hottest places in hell are reserved for people that hurt children and animals.  You are too big a coward to pick on someone that might hurt you back!

The attitude adjustment committee is prepared to change your point of view and deport you to Scumbag Island. 

For everyone that believes in rehabilitation of criminals that are social and sexual predators, spare me and the world your excuses and reasons.  Less than a postage stamp will buy a bullet to make sure that sure that they will never hurt another living being again.  There is my rehabilitation plan.  100% success…everyone treated with my plan is rehabilitated. 

Human beings make me ill.  Stop the world, I think want to get off!  ~~Dee

There is an odd sexual event connected with The Marines birthday.  Or…actually, it is more like an anti-event.  That is, we never have sex on his birthday.

For many, this might seem strange because most men rack up on the sexual favors on their birthday.   He does not get sexual favors on his birthday because we don’t view sex as a bartering or leverage.  It is not a gift or something we exchange for something else.

Lets face it.  He gets sex anyway at anytime for any reason because he is extra delicious and so easy to get sticky with on a flat surface.

So, we spent today in the traditional way that we have spent his birthday the past few years…deep sea fishing.  We have a running joke because I hate to fish:  “most men get a blow job from their wife on their birthday.  He gets a fishing trip!”

Is it easy to take a day off from sexual activity?  NO!

But, we spent the day doing all of the non-sexual things he loves to do: Fishing, eating great food, and going to a comedy club.  Knowing that you can’t for 24 hours makes you think of nothing but sex…in truth.  BUT, spending 24 hours as carefree friends as the sexual anticipation builds….it is priceless and yummy.

Well…40 minutes left!  After all, I did say 24 hours.  ~~Dee

“If you and I woke up nakkid together this morning, what three words would you say to me?  Send this to both men and women… the responses are funny,” the pretty chime from my Blackberry notified me of a new text. 

From MissM, I knew two things:  it would be sexy and it would make me smile.  As with everything she does, it was so much more than I expected.  It actually made me think!

“Good morning Sunshine,” I texted back the first three words that came to mind to say if in the described situation.  After all, I assume that “ready for breakfast” would soon follow.   As instructed, I forwarded the text to a few people, but I read it aloud to The Marine.  His reply was without thinking:  “I love you.”  That made me smile. 

I wondered if the responses were so different considering who you asked or if the responses were pre-conditioned by gender.  So, here is it!

The question:  “If you and I woke up nakkid together this morning, what three words would you say to me?”  Anyone care to take up the challenge and share your three words of wisdom with us?  ~~Dee

Well…it happened.  In record time.  Many people told me that I should get over to Facebook.  That way they could communicate with me in real-time.  I dodged.  I picked my battles.  Gave all of the good excuses for not making it a reality.  Every reason except the real reason:  Facebook is for clean people to share their normal, everyday lives in peace without soiling their virtual hands on the likes of people with sexual content.

Now, nevermind the guy who kept trying to get me interested in his online sex store page, I honestly counted the days before the removal of my less-than-pristine carcuss from the midst of the good people of Facebook.   Nevermind the fact that I was really good and did not say ANYTHING at all smutty. 

I KNOW!  I am as surprised as everyone else.  Me…without smut?  Good Lord, what is the world coming to right?

So, when I received my email today telling me that I had been kicked out of Facebook because….ready for this…be sure…I was not using my real name, I had to sit down. 

Really? 

What do they think my REAL name is? 

• My mother calls me “Dee.”  Does that count?
• My online friends call me “Dee.”  Does that count?
• All of my business associates call me “Dee.”  Does that count?

BigBrother calls me “money.”  That aint my real name.  The Marine and My Favorite Scorpio do not call me “Dee.”  They have other names that are also not my real name.

And…if you were going to make up a fake name, would it really be Dee?  Honestly, out of all the names in the known universe?

I took a few minutes to let the shock wear off and strolled through some of the names on Facebook.  If you do a search, the names are truly silly and obviously not real either.  So, I have protested their decision.  In reality, I dont expect much out of it.

I just keep remembering that sometimes “when people dont like you, you can feel better about yourself!”  And, if you were in my SexyWhispers Facebook account, then let me know and I will add you to the new one.  ~~Dee (sorry, thats the only name I got!)

Additional Note:  The Marine has suggested that I become “the blogger formally known as Dee!”  Too funny not to share!